Longer Than Forever

Longer than forever

I will love you longer than forever 

The time I've spent alone has convinced me that I am far too old to wait for something more

I've always wanted it

And now that I have it, I will hold it until it breaks

Until the it shatters into miniscule pieces in my callused hands

Cutting and scraping and digging into me until my skin is scarred

Until the shards cut too deep and touch bone

Disintegrating my flesh

Zip it open like a jacket you need to wear when it is cold outside

Because you cannot produce enough warmth on your own

My body will blend into the ground 

Burying me into my own promises

And planting seeds that should have been full-grown flowers a long time ago

Push me down into the dirt and drown me in my own obsessions

I trust that I will take root down there if it is where I truly belong

And I know I belong there because I can feel your needy hand digging through the layers of dirt to find mine

Helplessly reaching for the one thing I want the most

Come drown here with me

And we will decompose together

I love you now and tomorrow

I love you in Hell and in Heaven

I love you through trust and betrayal

And I love you longer than forever