Me

How

do others see me?

Do they see a girl in gray cargo pants and light blue thermal quarter zip?

Do they see a friend who loves them despite her crankiness?

Do they see a quiet awkward girl who prefers books to people?

Do they see a hostile person who hates them (for good reason, I assure you)?

Do they see me?

Or am I the invisible person in group conversations

only there one-on-one

ignored in public spaces?

Do I have a visble personality

or is it still like 6th grade

where I was only known for saying "arson" and "frying pan" in all of the horrible reality fanfictions?

(You know, the ones where I had to add myself in because I hadn't been mentioned for the past 30 pages and only said "YAY ARSON" 33 pages prior)

I feel invisible

too much

and no one seems to notice.

Why is that?

Is it because they have a huge friend group and a partner?

Is it because they are the absolute center

and I'm too far out on the outer edge?

Is it because they've gotten tired of bringing me into the conversation

when they have so many other people easier to talk to?

Whatever it is

it's a poor excuse

and I'd like to have a personality

I'd like to be seen

as who I am

not as someone's feeder,

or their "loving grandmother",

or marmot cat lady,

I want people to see who I am

and not make it a meme

or put it on a doc of "funny things"

or turn it into a joke.

I am a human

and other humans are seen

so why can't I be seen?

Don't ask who I am

you should know by now.