My Name

My name is LerDer Star.

My father chose my name for me 

even though me and my father 

We're never close

I always needed a better relationship. 

With him.

He's there--present but absent. 

From staying up all night

And watching movies, chilling at the park

Now it's just either not talking or arguing about stupid shit.

My first name never really had a meaning

But my last name did

My last name meant 

“the baby with star-filled eyes.”

I also don't have a middle name

Which is weird to me 

Because everybody has a middle name

But I didn't really care for it

Me and my family

Don’t all have the same last name

It’s not like that in Karen culture… 

This is just me and me only.

I go by Star. 

"The teenager with faded star eyes"