National Nausea

I am nauseous, constantly.

There is a Fear deep rooted in me.

My hands no longer shake in tests

the Fear is bigger than tests now

I want to go to college, let me go

My Hatred for myself is overshadowed

by the outside Hatred for me.

For my friends.

Who might lose their family

to a country their family is from

but they aren't.

Will you let me go?

They might lose their lives,

I might lose mine.

Don't let me die before I grow up

The nausea sticks to the back of my throat

the shiver in my bones stays

and the way standing brings the waves

washing over me

That's not fair

I want to throw up,

to remove the Hatred, Fear, Anticipation

but it can't. 

Relief seems a myth.

I want to grow up

We'll see if this is deleted November Fifth.