Never wiser

I had a dream

I was at the high school

I couldn't carpool with a buddy

we were late

it was dark outside

I didn't know anyone there

I didn't know my schedule

I didn't know what was happening

I didn't know how to do this

I was in the car freaking out in my first day of school outfit

feeling like a baby with my backpack

chock-full of binders and pencils and staplers and sticky notes

everything they said I needed

I was so prepared

but would never be prepared enough

I walked into the building

I found one of my friends?

The hallways were dark

I have never been so scared in my entire life

because this is not a nightmare

this is change

inevitable

and I am leaving the safety of the nest this year

not confident I can fly

because I don't know which direction to go in

oh my god

I woke up in sweat breathing heavily

I woke up feeling dead

so panicked

I SAID I WAS READY BUT I'M NOT