new year, old me

moments like these are built up to be phenomenal.

some naturally-occurring, life changing feeling, as the

fireworks fly and the glasses clink. but it's only a matter of time

till the pressure for the perfect night, so tangled up

in moments like these, outweighs the joy itself.

new year, new me. but what if it's not? what if

i still cried on january first for no reason, and i still got mascara

on the corner of my eye, and i still got too jealous of others' happiness

to feel happy for them, but i still felt guilty when i got that happiness

for myself? fireworks fly and glasses clink. this is one celebration

of change. but i can change every day if i want to.

new year, new me? no. every hour, minute, second is an opportunity.

the moment may not be perfect, but i'm done pinning my life changes

on the pinprick of the new year. i'm just going to live,

and change as i go, even if i don't know

what that will look like just yet. clink. just now