Overthinking At 10:01 PM

Did you know that
A mayfly lives for less than a day?

Maybe this is selfish of me.
It probably is.

But I'm weak.
I can't handle death.

Not that I'm not thankful for being here
But I'm weak.

I can't handle pain.
My heart breaks looking at it.

I feel silly for wanting to be a mayfly
When there are so many songs waiting to be sung

Poems to be written
Loves to be had.

It's just that they all end.
And pitifully, so pitifully

I find myself sometimes
Thinking I'd want to leave first.

Not in a suicidal kill-me way,
But it just makes me question.

Is it braver to stay knowing things will end
When I have all this to lose?

Or is it human to wish you didn't have to watch?