Panic Attack in the School Bathroom

I can't breathe

My heads against the

Stall wall

The coldness keeping me

From passing out

My feet are on the

Gross ground

Trembling

I can barely tell

That the floor is solid

My hands are gripping the

Metal bar

By now

It's slick with sweat

My eyes are closed

My skin pale

My mouth open

As it tries

To take steady breaths

I look up

Praying for it to stop

And then hoping

That my tears don't fall

And stain my face

All I want to do

Is sink to the floor

But the one working part

Of my brain

Stops me

I stay standing

But barely

Dots swarm my vision

I blink

Begging them to leave

I blink again

Begging my tears

To go back

My breathing is better

Nowhere near perfect

But by now it's normal

I leave the stall

And relief washes over me

When I see

I'm the only one

Who occupies the bathroom

I go through the steps

That I do everytime

This happens

Wash my hands

With cold water

Paper towel my tears away

Fix my hair

Straighten my shoulders

Put my head up

Plaster on a smile

And walk back to class

As if I wasn't in my personal hell

Against the stall wall

As if I didn't have

A panic attack

In the school bathroom