Planning
Every day
Every chance that is given
Scheduling
Organizing RSVPs
Bugging people to respond.
Talking to the caterer -
We can have bourekas after all -
And studying
Writing the speech
Studying more
And more
And more.
Trying to revive the wilted playlist
Making lists on docs of supplies
Of the food we want
On
And on
And on
Nonstop planning
For something that I never wanted.
I used to spin golden thread
thin and pure as warm sunlight
lighter than feathers
worth more than gold
Now it's murky and brown
chunky and stringy as grassy mud
heavier than sorrow
Little do we know
everyone is next
I am next
glints in their eyes give away their fear
help us
Who are you, you ask? Why, that's an incredibly good question. I don't know. I ask myself that every day, and I still don't know who I am. I don't know who I want to be, or what I want to do when I grow up.
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