Poetry

The red truck blue truck cap

Bright blue, not pretty

Like dancing eyes no

This is down to business blue eyes hardened

After too many people said no

After too many yesses didn’t work out

I dream in feeling

Color in my own black-and-white mindscapes with emotion

It's never meaningless

I dream in feeling

Energies

It's true that how a person makes you feel

The curtain call

I’m out of time

I dance with my hands tied

in a little sun filled gale

there is a wooden swing

it's creaky and it's old, but then

so is everything

it is so dear and pretty

the meadow's filled with bees

there are flowers brushed

You called me insecure,

Because I told you we couldn't be friends.

You no longer defended me against his cruel words.

I told you, I did. 

"No second chances." 

I stand firm in my words,

I remember that night,

we went for a walk,

after dinner,

where we finally weren't awkward,

where it felt                 real-

The rain reminds me of you,

the way it pours down hard and fast,

then slowly becomes lighter,

and lighter,

until you're gone,

leaving me with the puddles to keep me company.

I love you yet

I can’t stand you

I need you yet

I push you away

I treasure you yet

I want to leave

You’re a liar who

Broke my heart

And

You’re the very thing that might

Lie awake tired, won’t go to sleep, regret it in the morning,

repeat. 

I try to break the cycle, 

but then something stops me.

Oh wait, it was just myself, again,

like always,

but I'm stuck and

You asked me to stay 
As you gazed into the future 
Longing once more

Turning the handle

Feels like mornings up too early

Stepping into the steam and heat

Warmth against the cold chilly mornings

Frost on the ground

Feels too early for colored leaves

Because they mean change

"When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt?"

You spoke of mistakes, things to fix, things to grow from,