A Reason

You know, sometimes I have these moments. Moments where I snap out of the rubber band ball of my own mind– and it hits me. Like the salty aroma of a beach, the profuse sentiment of sonder is inhaled through my nostrils. The melded haze of pedestrians on the street, students in a hall, or the inhabitants of a town passed by while in a car. All of those people are sewing the complex patchwork quilt of their lives with their very own needles– just how you and I are. Think about it: so many things had to go right for a person to even come into existence, let alone all the connections they end up making with others. 

I believe that two souls don’t meet by accident; you meet everyone for a reason. 

Ever since I was a child, I’ve been a keen reader of people. Take fourth grade– there was one girl who took complete advantage of my best friend, attempting to forcefully reciprocate our friendship. Flashforward to fifth grade, her behavior morphed into something resembling a decent person. I was still wary, but convinced that she had changed. Yet in reality, I had fallen into her manipulation trap. This evolved into her slamming her locker door onto me, teasing me, and starting drama daily. It was hellish to deal with, but the year ended at some point. Nonetheless, there was such a strong purpose in that connection. Now I can better recognize manipulation, and also have become cognizant of what goes behind a person who bullies. During her phase of luring me into her ‘trap’ in order to attempt to take advantage of me, she had gotten vulnerable. She told me about her life as an only child, and I think her desire for a sibling manifested into manipulative tendencies. People aren’t rude without reason; it always traces back to something. This leads to her being an excellent example of someone to not be friends with– someone who is domineering due to their insecurity. Her behavior may be rooted in circumstances that she cannot control, but hey, you don’t need to be friends with everyone. 

I have an earlier example– let’s go back to third grade. I became inseparable with this one girl. She was unapologetically herself with me, and we prided ourselves for it. However, my friend was trying to get close with another classmate who immediately came off as petty— she was craving a bond with that girl since she yearned to enter this realm of popularity. I tried to warn her, but she wouldn’t listen. Although her friendship with that wannabe popular girl was short-lived, the pattern didn’t fade. A few years later, her texts stopped coming, and she never talked to me again. Sometimes, I think about how I miss her, but it’s really the person she used to be that I miss. Now, I see how humans are so susceptible to the façade of ‘fitting in’, even if it means trading authenticity for approval. 

So maybe these are simply people that I used to know. But there was a purpose in knowing them. Without those experiences, I wouldn’t have the knowledge that I do now. Today, these people now meld into the never ending wave of passersby, continuing to sew the patchwork quilts of their own lives with their own needles. But on both of their quilts, there will forever be a patch featuring the connections I had with each of these people. I’ve learned from those patches, and what I learn from them is to each their own.