Revival

One day,

             you will feel pain so excruciating it becomes abstruse. You will feel numb, detached from the world, lost in a void of darkness. 

            This may last for days, weeks, months, even years. And you will resent every second of it. You will beg on your knees for an end to your misery, to finally feel something again. 

            You’ll endure it all alone, suffering in silence. You will stop doing the things you once loved, they won’t ease the pain anymore. You won’t smile, laugh, or socialize anymore. Nothing will bring you the same joy it used to. 

            You will begin to question how you ended up in this painful state. You look back in retrospect as the impediments that once seemed so minimal stand out like red flags. And you wonder what you did to deserve this, how you became so depressed, why you had to endure this. And you begin to blame yourself. 

Everything will come crashing down, and the world you once knew will fall apart before your eyes. You will feel everything at once in greater depth. It will be too much. You’ll cry until you can’t anymore, until you’re lying on the floor, begging for something, anything, just something to ease the pain. 

This is your lowest point, 

but not your demise. In this moment of agony, you will remember that you do not have to live like this. 

This is not your end.

This is your revival.

            Day by day, you will heal. You will begin to accept that healing is not easy. Some days you will miss the pain because you found a comforting familiarity in it.

            Day by day, you will learn that you did not deserve to live in pain. You will learn that blaming others will not change a single thing. You will learn to accept that the world is not fair. 

            Day by day, you will begin to say that you are enough. It will not come naturally at first, it will not come easy. But with time, you will start to believe it.

One day, you will be happy again.

This is not your end.

This is your revival.