I can’t pretend anymore
I’m not okay,
I’ve never been okay
And I don’t think I’ll ever be okay
But every day I’m trying
Every day I’m learning to love the flaws he hated
Every day I’m writing
Taking the pain out of my heart and onto the pages
Every day I’m improving
Surrounding myself with people who have a positive influence on my life
Every day
I’m a little closer
To the sunrise.
I close the windows
Lock the doors
Turn off the lights
I don’t ever want to leave this room.
I am tired of drowning
In a world
That has never prepared me to swim.
There are ten days left until the first day of my freshman year,
And I am fearful.
Fearful of drowning under the thrashing waves,
For I have been taught to survive
but never to truly live.
One day,
you will feel pain so excruciating it becomes abstruse. You will feel numb, detached from the world, lost in a void of darkness.
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