what makes you really truly happy?

you asked me one day
(it was a winter day)
a day where the air was crisp and chilly
the sort of crisp and chilly that prickled your skin,
and your bones.
and i said that when i truly had nothing to worry about
(when i truly couldn't think of any qualms)
then i was truly happy.
but i remember your question
and i've been thinking about it for months (and
months) and even though
you're gone now and i don't know when
i'll see you again (and
i doubt you even remember asking me
on that cold winter day) i'll tell you
that i changed my mind.
i'll tell you what makes me truly happy.
because even when nothing is
wrong it doesn't mean i'm happy
(it doesn't mean everything is right).
that's why
i changed my mind.
i am happy when i cry tears of sadness
and i am happy when i cry tears of joy
i am happy when i feel rage at my past
and sadness because i won't see you
again ever, i don't even know you
too well but
i miss you
i miss you
(i miss you) and then also i feel
so happy because
i have so many shoulders to cry on.
i am happy
when i feel all of these things at once.
the happy and the sad
(the good and the
bad).
the ying and the yang
is when i am truly happy
when we are all holding hands
and crying together and the
ying and the yang also
fit together.
what makes you truly happy?
that one thing?
that one feeling?
that makes you really truly happy?
let me tell you
through the clouds of never seeing you again
let me tell you
hoping you can hear my faltered voice
let me tell you
what makes me truly happy
really truly happy
is
everything and nothing
ying and yang
grief and praise
hate and love
all together
holding each other
not one hundred (percent) happy
but okay. ying and yang
grief and praise
hate and love
all together, and then okay
is enough.