Writing

momma, 

you know, 

i was so pretty today.

i woke up on time

you didn’t say anything 

before you left

but,

my glasses were clean

my nails were painted, 

These days I sip 

on the light from the window. 

Sometimes the walls are dark, and they swallow 

it up, and there's none left to reach me 

I am not you, I am me

We are different

Sometimes I like the rain

Sometimes it makes me sad

lonely

You've always hated the rain

Sometimes I am angry and 

Sometimes I erupt like a shaken soda

The world goes distant.

I can feel myself

slipping

dissipating

into the words,

the worlds

that I bring life to.

Somehow I feel 

betrayed, 

I think

I might miss this.

I might miss your smile

And the way it feels when you laugh

And

How we could talk about anything.

I might miss

Those precious few minutes spent together

Every morning

The second I feel

Used or neglected

Abandoned or judged

Hated or pitied

Is the second I slip away.

Even if it's in my own head

And not real.

Even if you were trying to love me.