WTH Ralph

After parties are good; I like after parties.
Especially with Ralph. Ralph is my best friend, who is so funny, but in a smart, almost whimsical way.

Well at this particular after party, Ralph and I got pretty “drunk” so we started making up jokes. I can't remember what I said word-for-word but it had something to do with wizards.
‘Oh, I'm a wizard!’ I thought he was joking at first; we were drunk after all,
‘No you're not’ but he seemed almost hurt by my statement.
‘I most certainly am!’ He was so serious I couldn't help but laugh.
‘Oh really? Prove it!’ I’d seen Ralph chug a 2L coke bottle in one go before but not magic, he sucked at magic.
‘I will, I'll make your wish come true!’ I doubt he could lift his head properly at the moment.
‘My wish?’ I didn't really have anything in mind.
‘Anything your heart desires! I will make it a reality!’ anything? 
How ridiculous, I had to think of something now.
‘Well, I want to be immortal’ there; something to match his own outrageousness.
‘Okay’ he furrowed his brow as if he were constipated ‘Done, you're immortal now’
‘Ha! And a monkey’s uncle apparently for listening to you! You didn't even do anything’

That was 200 years ago.