today marks a month.
a month without any sign of life from you. i know. we only knew each other a week. but the subject line of our emails, long past, was always a promise. a promise that you wouldn't disappear like you seem to have.
your last message was full of that humor and passion that excited me so- i was sure it would be recurring. what's keeping you away?
two months since i saw your face. since i saw you pull that one-eyed-squint-while-nodding deal that i've felt myself do many times, before and after we met.
now i can't remember if you're real. i need your advice. i need to sit with you and eat cake, and edit quietly and make eye contact that would be disturbing to anyone else. please.
you made me live as a person who i like more- no, not made. offered me an opportunity to just be quiet for once. if i believed in things like that, i would say we had known one another in a different life. but i don't. and you're not here, and i'm going back to the obnoxious mad about nothing child i was before.
we sat at the end of the world. i thought i could see everything from that point, but really, it lived up to the name.
for all i could see was our story together coming to an end. the end of a world. a world of expression and absolute transparency and sharing and love in some way or another.
i thought it was the beginning.
i'll give it another month.
maybe you'll get a facebook notification for my birthday and remember me.