i am too scared to be part of the drama club.
though i know when i see the musical in fall,
i will sing along in my head and wish i was up there.
i am too afraid to show my notebook,
my little scraps of ideas and thoughts.
though i know they'd make a good story.
i am too scared to play soccer,
my short and stiff body would be too slow.
though i know i would love the team.
i am too scared to sing.
my voice not comparing to the radio.
though i am happiest when i do.
i am too scared to be a part of something.
to be vulnerable.
i am too scared to ask for a place,
so instead, i just sit and wait
for someone to hand me a spot.
though i never expect it.
i hate myself too much to go to writing events,
to bleed my heart in frontront of people
who may think nothing but a mess of it.
(though deep down i know they wont)
i am too afraid to tell people i am afraid
that is my biggest fear.