Dec 06
Sydney_Kulis's picture

oblivion

sk

when i was younger i used to say oblivion a lot. i would get into a fight with my parents and i would say to myself that i wished i could “fall into oblivion.” i had no idea what it meant but i thought it sounded dramatic so i would say it to myself and then i would fall into bed most likely crying about something frivolous and unimportant.
now the word has a totally different meaning. i don’t say it any more to be dramatic, i say it because sometimes i want to fall into oblivion. just become unconscious of the world around me. be able to float away. i think that i have let myself get hurt by so many people that being unaware has always seemed nice.
for example; right now i am sitting in study hall writing. while the boy who somehow knows how to make my knees quake is sitting across from me, smiling.
falling into oblivion. see around him that seems nice. being oblivious to his ability to make me fall out of my phsaad of being a strong independent woman. my fake “i am okay without other people, i love myself and don’t need anyone else” mask. somehow he knows how to take it away.
falling into oblivion. see that seems nice.