Not jealous, not sorry

Your goal is to make me jealous.

To make everyone jealous.

Even your friends.

Friends? Or followers?

You're all leaders and not very good at it anyway,

And guess how that works out,

When we're all crammed together?

And I may be a nobody to you

But I'm as strong-minded as any of you

And I don't like being walked all over

Stomped all over, really.

You want to do this?

Let's do it.

Leave me alone and I'll extend you the same courtesy.

You don't and so I won't.

I will not shut up

And sit there being told my ideas are stupid

And laugh it off

And I won't let you kick a ball in my face

And laugh and laugh and laugh

And never ever ask if I'm okay.

I'll tell you something.

I'm not jealous.

I'm not jealous of you

Because I don't see beauty on your face

Like you wish so desperately to be seen for.

Beauty is joy and being loved and loving back.

I know better than to pity you,

But part of me does.

These people

So trapped inside their own heads

That they don't know what joy is.

They don't know what laughing with loved ones feels like.

They don't know.

They don't know anything.

I'm not jealous, 

But I'm not sorry either.