the first snow

always elicits a sense

of wonder

in me

a feeling that

everything is new again

and that the world

is being reborn

entering a new phase

in its annual cycle

of growth

the first snow

transforms

even

dirty, tangled, old

tree branches

into something 

fresh and mesmerizing

again

that calms

and inspires

and fascinates

everyone.

I am chanting verse 9 of my first aliyah,

a bowl of blackberries and apple cinnamon Cheerios beside me,

fingers twirling the spoon, when -

out the window, there is snow.

Like a true New Englander, I shriek and rush to the window,

pressing my nose against the glass

in an annual display of childlike wonder.

It was hailing when I got off the bus, tiny little dots

of frozen rain melting in my hair, but now it is snowing,

it is snowing, really snowing and it doesn't seem

to have a beginning and we do not know when it will stop.

A few houses down, my best friend is decorating her room

for the holidays (she stuck her tongue out at me

when I told her I had my bat mitzvah lesson, declaring

she'd do it without me) and is probably drawing

little Christmas trees and hearts in her fogged-up windowpanes,

excited for all there is all the snow there is to come.

I really ought to return to my practice

and to writing poems that aren't about the snow

but it's too pretty to resist and look! the rooftops are getting

dusted with powdered sugar and the road is whitish gray,

and the windows across from us are yellow as if wiped with oil

from the Hanukkah candles I can't wait to light.

Darling, it's snowing, it's nearly winter, the ground is white, happy second snow.

(if anyone is wondering, an aliyah is basically a chunk of a torah portion that you chant during your b mitzvah, and they're divided into "sentences", or verses!)

behind our tired eyes

we see glimmers of hope

sparkle around the edges

of the red white and blue flag

the stars 

are a message of peace yet to come

and as signs are printed

and people step out onto the streets

the sunlight glimmering through the trees gets a little brighter

especially now

that mayors will walk in pride parades

and LGBTQPIA+ activists

are now in office

i think we have a better chance

because maybe to most people

we don't need a new ballroom

for the sake of everything good in the world

can we please just make change instead?

 oh look

on the streets

this is finished now

i shall go join them.

tired sighs

jokes and smiling

but sad behind those eyes

don't even know how you're okay

are you?

watching the sunset has different effects in different towns

this is an odd, busy town

full of many different people

people who own expensive suits,

and people who don't

crazy kids and sleep deprived parents

and i people-watch from this window in this hotel

and i see couples and old people and revel at the sun as it's setting  

it is amazing to see the restless sun paint the world, the clouds a million shades of

gold, pink, red, amber, and orange.

i take another picture every five seconds before returning to this poem

i barely look at the keyboard,

my focus on the sky

i don't want to miss it

this precious time of day

the time when endings are beautiful

and the time where life is simpler than it really is

and the 

sky

makes me want to float off into oblivion and damn

i want to scream and think about all i have done to deserve this level of bliss

this type of happiness is not something i experience often

and right now it just feels like 

wow

for lack of a better word

5:10 now

at home, i don't think the sun is setting yet, and i wonder why

i think…

holy

i look up for a second and see the clouds a coral, no an orange

burning, on fire

pink and euphoria

When I’m with you, my heart is light.

I don’t feel the need to smile, smile, smile, laugh, laugh, laugh.

I can just be me.

And that feels amazing.

When we’re together, my smiles and laughter are genuine, not forced.

I don’t have to mince my words.

I can just be me.

I don’t worry that you only keep me around out of pity.

I don’t have to force myself to want to know everything you know about stuff I’m clueless about.

I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not.

I can just be me.

Yeah, I can just be me when I’m with You.

To be American is to

Listen to the rain fall and to

Let it wash over our faces, just

As all who came before us did

(not just the founding fathers did but

the children, the mothers, those

still fighting for their freedom

today) for they will be heard as

Their voices soar and dance

Through the thunder;

It’s to see the cracks crumbling in

concrete once paved by those who

Thought they would never fall, and

To trace dirt-soiled fingers over the crevices,

Planting tentative drops of our hearts (most

Of all our voices), watching

With wonder as our new day blooms

(from the broken foundation)

With our dreams as we

Wear them like capes (our

Own flags);

It’s to sew those capes together, to

Patchwork the rags (worn and

Worn again with pride that has

Faded and frayed but begs to

Become whole again) of a banner

That lays  star-spangled and

Striped with declarations that we will

Edit with snippets of our own flags to

Build a tapestry (with stitches of

promises and scraps of

Dreams) that we (us

Americans) will wrap around our shoulders and

Wear with pride;

To be American is to

Believe in where we’re going (and

Where we have been) and lift the heart

Of this (our) country up (with

All of the flowers we have planted

Within the veins), hoping

For a greater future but still watching

As the sun rises every morning (just

As our new dawn

Will do the same)

Upon the throne of man

Sits the king of greed

A man so old and cold

Yet ne'er his people

Shall he feed

Upon the yellow throne

Sits a man of truth and lie

A skeleton covered in gold

Yet not a sight shall reach his eye

Within the darkest chamber

Lie the darkest men

The king is top among them

He's whom our lives are lent

Yet when we look upon him

We cannot bear the sight

For the king in yellow

Bears the truest might