Even as we carry the whole world

On our backs, we

Breathe our girlhood through

Whispers and giggles at the lunch table and

Stars brushed across eyelids that have

Scattered themselves onto cheeks, and

Sparkles in our eyes as we

Watch the snow squall outside twirl

Into a slow, fluttering waltz;

With hard-earned muscles, we

Grow stronger with every stroke, tired but

With the determination of a six year-old trying

to fly (as we truly do), colorful

In our rainbow tie-backs and water bottles lining

The edge of the pool, six

In the morning and

Swimming strong to Beyoncé;

We write endless papers and

Streak whiteboards with questions we’re

Not sure we’ll ever

Find the answers to, but

Smile still into notebooks and 

Painted nails perfect and chipped (they’re

Obviously all beautiful);

We carry so much weight and yet

I sat in pre-calc today with

A gum wrapper heart from my friend, and

It matched my heart as it fluttered

With girlhood: both

Frivolous wishes and

Dreams I’ve hard-earned won, with 

Tears and grit and

Every time I’ve refused

To give up.

It started off with two moms, two best friends,
with two young girls with the biggest smiles.
Making handshakes that would last a lifetime,
listening to songs we would sing and dance to,
sharing our laughs and giggles,
playing with Littlest Pet Shop right after school,
having a late afternoon snack.
Until it was time to go back home.

We have seen each other’s ups and downs.
The saying, “I’ll be here for you,” finally has meaning.
Laughing together, crying together, failing together.
The feeling of your presence gives me comfort.
We grew taller, braver, and crazier.
Each moment becomes a new memory to replay.

And just in the blink of an eye,
we will see each other across the stage,
achieving what we once thought was unachievable.
Always looking back at how far we’ve come,
to receive our diplomas and throw our caps.
You, would be the first person I would turn to.
And now, it’s two best friends,
the two young girls with the biggest hearts.

Hey. So, it’s me. Like always. Also, it’s 12:30. I’m sure you’ll remember that, like always, I would love to be able to sleep. Maybe you’ll just give me another hour or two? See, I had things to do. Poetry. A portfolio. Actually, two. 

No, I’m being serious. And reading. Come on, I was just reading. How do the hours even pass that fast? I swear someone’s playing tricks on me. There’s just so much. I just- you know, I just want to keep going. I just need a little time. Is that so much to ask?

And of course, the class work. Tests. I have midterms this week, alright? Like, four exams that determine my grade. Don’t forget the portfolios.

And soccer. Like, a lot of it.

…and so many emails.

Alright, you’ve stopped listening to me now. But look, you have to understand, alright? There’s just so much. So much to do. So much I don’t know. So many commitments, so many sacrifices. I can’t figure out how to fit it all in. It’s like- I blink, and suddenly another day has passed, but I have not moved forward at all. There’s no way to get ahead. But there’s the SAT in two months, and AP exams, and I’m going to college next year—

Ok, fine, sorry.

…and the world is burning.

I know. I know, alright? But how am I supposed to sit here and do trigonometry when people are being killed in the streets and ireversable damage is being done to the environment? I can’t just do nothing, but there’s no time to do anything! There’s no time to resist, no time to learn and grow, no time to do anything but tread water. I just need more time. I want to do it all. I want to feel it all. I want to watch the sunset and linger until frost has settled on my fingertips. I want to sit on the front porch until even the timid songbirds will perch next to me. I want to play every song I’ve ever heard on the piano until I can relish in each note as they ripple through space. I want to stand on the street corner listening to buskers and remember why humanity is worth it. I want to sing, laugh, paint, watch, listen, learn. I want to be able to do nothing but relish the world around me and be ok with it. I want to love. I want to live.

I just want us to live.

….yeah, I get it. It was a stupid question to ask in the first place. No one gets extra time. I’ll figure it out, though. I’ll survive. We all will. Our time is only precious because it doesn’t last forever. We’ll all get our chance at rest eventually. The point is to make it worth it, right?

"So I was in English class, right," said the kid, "and the bell rang, and while I was switching classes, I got super thirsty, so I stopped at the water fountain, but then I remembered that this fountain is out of order and the only other one is in the west wing, so I started walking all the way there, but on my way there, I passed a group of guys walking real fast through the hall, so I said 'hey, what're you guys walking so fast for,' and they said 'we're going to protest the water fountain being out of order,' and I said 'hey, why don't I join you; I just had to walk all the way to this side of the school just to get water,' and anyway, we walked over to the water fountain and they were all waving signs that said stuff like fix the water fountain and rights for thirsty people and we want an air-fryer in the boys' bathroom, and all of a sudden I see Matt the school security guy speak into his walkie-talkie and all of a sudden these dudes, I guess they were other security guards, form around us in riot gear, and I see them throw one of the guys down and a second later I heard him choking, and I said 'hey, get off him, he's getting hurt,' but by that time I had already been picked up by the riot-gear-guys and tossed in the school van and they were all like 'we're taking you back to the school that you came from' and I was like 'what, like the elementary school?' and they were like 'shut up' and I was like 'okay,' and so I woke up in some basement and the president of the United States was there hanging out in his underwear, and for some reason he had toe-gripper socks on, and I couldn't quite tell if they were white or orange, but anyway, he walks over to me and he's like 'we need that information' and I'm like 'I don't know any information, I'm just late to band' and he was like 'we have ways of making you talk,'

and all of a sudden, I became very afraid, not because I did not know what he wanted me to know, not because of what he would do to me, but because if somehow I did know and didn't realize it, I would tell him, and he then would know,

and I saw that he was taller than me, and that he was bigger, and that our eyelines met at an odd angle that I did not understand, and could not ever understand, and I remembered how thirsty I was, and how thirsty my friends were, and how thirsty even the security guards must have been, and that no matter how much bigger he was, I would always be more,

So I stood up off that basement floor,

I looked downward at the big, strong president,

and I said, 'I would rather miss band class',

and the basement caved in."

I’ve started looking forward to the little things a little more 

Than I look forward to next year

Because it feels like next year is uncertain.

I’m excited to eat peanut butter toast in the car before skiing,

And to see my brother who knows when

Also to pet my dog before I go

And to watch a TV show.

There are too may things to worry about when I look too far ahead

But there are even more small moments in-between

So I suppose that’s why

I’ve started thinking more about the little things.  

There will always be dust

That is one thing that never changes

Dust at the beginning of the universe 

Dust at the end

Even though I know most things

I will ever experience 

Are infinite

The brevity of myself

Makes the infinity of other things seem sure

Like the playground out behind the elementary school

And the grand maple tree 

With a sap bucket on it in spring 

And us sitting in its branches in fall

Like the spark of a friendship 

Or a love

That made sense of this brevity 

Of this dust

Dust

We are made of dust

But whether sin

Or stardust

Neither the greatest scientist

Or the niftiest magicians can tell you

The infinity of the things a human life touches

Are far from sure

Shake me

When I wind back into town 

On a late summer day

And find the rusting old swing set replaced

The maple tree 

Cut down from sickness

And a fathomless breath of air

Between me 

And you

Maybe there is no either or

My dust mixing into yours

Into the universe

Sin and Stardust

Existing in the same smile

In the same 

Breath

So close 

We could never tell the difference

So close

We cannot pull them apart 

There will always be dusty roads

That is one thing that never changes

At the end of my life

And at the beginning

Recuerdo cuando mis pies tocan la arena

cuando los cangrejos me dan cosquillas

Busque los recuerdos y los hallé

En el puesto del sol

Cuando se acuesta por el día

Y yo, me quedo fijo viendo los colores reflejado sobre el mar

Me hace reflejar también

Recuerdo el camino de vuelta a casa

Recuerdo pensar de donde soy

Donde encuentro mi Hogar

¿Donde esta?

Esta en la mar

¿Recuerdas sentir que podíamos volar?

Jugando fútbol, corriendo, saltando

Con una energía que no se acababa

Imaginé con el papalote

Buscando, cantando, con el viento

Imaginé cómo sería el mundo si el mundo todo era mar

Recuerdo con mis libros de fotos

Con mis lentes con tinta rosada

Recuerdo las fotos

Olvido el sentido, lo demás, los demás

Las memorias son para siempre

El momento lo hay que tener, vivir

Recuerdo, Recuerdas, Recordaremos

/

I remember when my feet touched the ground

When the little crabs tickled my feet

I looked for the memories and I found them

In the setting of the sun

When it lays down for the night

And I, stood stuck watching its colors

Reflect over the water

It made me reflect, too

I remember the walk back to the house

Remember thinking where am I from

Where do I discover my home

Where is it?

It’s in the ocean

Do you remember feeling like we could fly?

Playing soccer, running, jumping

With an energy that didn’t run out

I imagined with a kite

Looking, singing, with the wind

I imagined what the world would be like if it was all ocean

I remember with my picture books

With my pink-tinted glasses

I remember the pictures

Forgetting the feeling, the other, the others

The memories are for forever

The moment you have to have, live

I remember, You remember, We remember

Foreigners have to pay more 
At the thick metal door.

Inside we see a hippo

We chuckle and point. 
Taking pictures. 

We say. 
“My, look at how large it is! Look how it walks! Ha!” 
We stare for some time. 

Then we hear someone whisper. 
We turn. 
And see people stare. 
At our light skin. 
And shiny hair. 

Poor hippo sits neglected. 

It seems we are a part of the zoo now too!

Eyes wide as Mr. Hippo's mouth. 
They stare at the new 
Creature in the zoo. 

Their cage of assumptions is too small for us. 

They don’t know that we understand what they say. 
They don’t know my mother grew up here. 
And in her heart she is home. 

Although, 

we all tend to live in the zoo sometimes too.