Posts
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Broken
I let myself cry
And it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest
Exploding
Shattering into the sky
I felt like I was dying
Each day it gets easier
But when it catches up to you
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Happy birthday to me
I'm so old
I know I'm not really but
It feels like it.
Like I'm a teenager
For real this time
Like I'm normal
And my parents trust me
And I can text?
And I'm normal
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Replaced memories
You created memories
And then got to move on
Leaving them untouched and perfect
Mine are being trampled.
Walked all over by my friends
My peers
I can't DO this
This constant emotional bombardment
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The only reason I am surviving
And I'm here again and I love it
Away from my friends
Away from my peers
My teachers
Here with doable expectations
The stage lights glinting off my glasses like melted candlelight
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Careful
And it feels the same
But in the worst way possible
And I hate this
More than I hated last year
At least last year
I cared
What I wouldn't give to care now
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Back
And it's all back
Full-fledged
Only it's... worse?
It's harder?
And I am completely "fine"
And "enjoying myself"
And "fitting in".
I take the homework home
And complete it within half an hour.
Loves
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Happy birthday
Happy birthday
or more like happy belated birthday -
I'm a day late -
but still
you're fourteen now
same as you were a week ago
but older
You'll be driving in what, two years?
we're so old
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Her Eyes
Her eyes fall upon me,
an array of pale blues and silver light.
They hold a look I cannot name,
yet my heart leaps all the same.
Her head tilts,
and a smile blooms across her face —
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Body
Body
My body
the one I don't really like anymore
maybe I use to like her
when I was younger and no one really cared
if you had stomach fat or things that jiggled or a flat nose
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Mediocre and gray
Mediocre
boring
bland
drawn-out
not over yet
a story with an unfinished ending
an experience so mediocre its bad
a full life dotted with holes
gaps in my well-being
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studying the stars
You're chasing after me again,
Like I'm a shooting star and I can hear your footsteps
before I see your face pasted
with grins and smiles, I don't understand.
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let's get vulnerable about a boy
I want you to kiss me until my lips bruise and pucker and purple and all I can taste is the inside of your mouth.