humor | Young Writers Project

Nov 07

The Young Poet

Field Hockey Inside Jokes

We are like sisters, best friends, and teammates rolled into one. But what other teams don't have that we do, are inside jokes.

THE BIG ONE STEPPED ON MY FOOT!!!
I GOT BALLS IN MY BANK ACCOUNT
IS THE GOALIE STICK FOR DECORATION?
CLAIRE LIKES CARROTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BUTTERFLY DANCE
NED + FRANK + AL
NED CONFIRMED
PICKLES THOUGHT YOU WERE A MARSHMALLOW

Ah the good ole days... I'm gonna miss you girls. Until next season!

Posted: 11.07.18

Nov 06

poem, humor 0 comments challenge: Royalty

LadyMidnight

Queen Dorothy - Stereotypical Teenager

"All hail her majesty, the queen!"
Oops, that's me.
God, on this planet they act like I'm a god or something.
I snap my gum and step out into the road.
Really?
They are bowing again?
Whatever.
It's better than nothing.
Besides no one ever did that in Kansas.
Seriously.
That tornado was the best day of my life.
Left behind that stinky old farm and became a queen.
Not bad considering I'm not yet 14.
"Speech! Speech!"
Like, really though?
Uggg...
But I suppose if it makes the Munchkins happy.
I'll just pass a few laws and stuff.
" Um.. Hey everyone!"
Loud cheers
"So.. Here's your speech. I am umm.. creating a new national holiday. Today is national candy day!
Candy for all!"
Loud cheers and celebrating.
I wave to all my subjects as my soldiers pass out candy.
Cool. That means I'll have a giant bowl of candy to eat back at the palace.

Posted: 11.06.18

Nov 05

humor 2 comments

Nicole Jasmin

hey!

Hey, it's been a while,
Y'know, it's kinda hard being back on here with school and all that stuff.... what's up guys?
I wonder if anyone's forgotten me... hmm...
Tell you what, I'll try to get on here and tell the news when I can, keyword being TRY.
Oh, there a other reason for my absence: my family moved. Yeah, I hard to start a new school, get used to my new home, it's been pretty weird.
There are big projects coming soon to a theater new you, stay tuned!
A new backstory about me will be in development soon, will post the story and written trailer when I actually have time. I'll try to make it interest as possible, I garuntee you that!
So, that's basically it for now, have a good day everyone!

Posted: 11.05.18

Nov 02

humor 0 comments challenge: Definition

Alexander wiedrick

Rat

The word rat has a special meaning to me. It means more than just a tiny creature or a rodent Its special. Sometimes it makes me cry. Sometimes it makes me laugh. The word is so very important to me. I can barely describe its meaning. A word has never had such special meaning to me before. It reminds me of happy things like kittens and chocolate. It also reminds me of sad things such as rain or death. Rat means something special. Rat is short for Ratthew.

Posted: 11.02.18

Oct 30

humor 0 comments

adrianh

Surrounded By Haters In The Fall

Surrounded by Haters In Fall
By Henry Adrian

Y'all ready for this poop?

Here we go.

Fall, it makes you think

About how your face looks like a ship just sank

But when I think of fall, the leaves look like they’re covered with ink...

I think it’s really dank

Haters think they can hide behind the leaves

But I’m dodge’n and slash’n with my rake

They’re punch’s and swings I weave

And the news they’re spreading is fake
ooooo ….. These haters think they can hide in the dark

But I’ma come at them like a shark

These haters they’re surrounding me

People say i’m a bad rapper

That’s true, but at least I’m not a bad dabber

I Naruto run in the fall

But when you step down the stairs

You drop like a doll in the wind of fall

Posted: 10.30.18

Oct 29

humor 0 comments challenge: Photo-3 Thinking

Hausmane

Side Effects May Include...

Side effects of adventuring may include mauling, maiming, dismemberment, partial or complete decapitation, incineration, vaporization, petrification, partially or completely dissolved limbs or organs, temporary or permanent death, exponential increase in wealth or fame, laceration, piercing wounds, necrosis, immortality, radiant ascension, being struck by lightning, angering a god or gods, descending into madness, and last but certainly not least destruction of ultimately the entire multiverse.

Posted: 10.29.18

Oct 27

humor 0 comments challenge: Lies

sorayaissad

Lies

lies lies    lies lie lies lies    lies lies lies lies
lies    lies lies lies
lies lies lies lies lies lies lies lies lies lies
lies lies    lies    lies
lies lies lies lies    lies    lies lies lies lies lies lies lies

the word lie seems like a lie to your eyes

Posted: 10.27.18

Oct 25

non-fiction, humor 0 comments

Rubber Soul

CONVERSATION YOU WOULD HAVE HEARD IF YOU HAD BEEN (FOR SOME UNKNOWN AND HOPEFULLY MADE UP REASON) LISTENING IN ON MY VACATION:

MOM: It's almost tomorrow, and we have to leave tomorrow. You three should go to bed.

SISTER: Okay. I'm tired. 'Night.

BROTHER: I'm watching Spongebob before I'm going to bed.

ME: I'm watching... um... *tries to come up with something clever and funny to say but is too tired.*

UNCLE: The inside of you eyelids?

ME: That's such an old person thing to say!

UNCLE: Ouch... that wouldn't have been as offensive if I said it ironically... but I actually thought it was funny... (Pretending to be angry:) Well, anyway, now I know what you're watching. Season three of Stranger Things! Oh, wait! You can't! You have to wait until 2019! HA!

ME; NOOOO!

UNCLE: (Still pretending to be angry:) Serves you right for calling me old!

ME: (Pretending to be hurt:) You're cruel! *Five minutes later goes to bed and laughs for like an hour and keeps siblings awake.*

Posted: 10.25.18

Oct 18

humor 0 comments challenge: Winter/18

monomondo

Wintertime "Antics"

It’s close to wintertime again. It’s close to the time of year that causes people to annoyingly complain or just be a little too happy about it. It’s the time of year that it’s socially acceptable for me to stay inside not because it’ll get below freezing, but because I just hate everyone a little more at this time of year. The few times when I do go outside, I just grab a bunch of snow (basically a ball if pollutants because of recent events) and either throw it, drop it, or just eat it because I can.

Posted: 10.18.18

Oct 15

humor 2 comments challenge: Winter/18

Jen L.

When We Ate the Beatles

One day my siblings and I went to our cousins’ house. My brother and the oldest cousin were doing something together while my other cousin and my sister were making snowmen with me. We decided to make the Beatles as snowmen. So, we assigned the each person a Beatle. I got two. I had Ringo and George, my cousin had John, and my sister had Paul. We were talking while making them, and, sadly, I don’t know what we were talking about. I think my sister said something that made me playfully push her, but I accidentally pushed her into one of the Snowbeatles. His head and torso fell off. We were all like, noooo!! So, we decided to destroy the other ones. You know, one for all and all for one.

Posted: 10.15.18

Oct 12

humor 0 comments

Gyury the Destroyer

I am different

I am different, I feel different, I act different, I am me. At a glance I look like everyone else, though if you knew me, you could pick me out of a crowd. One thing, I almost always wear a sweatshirt or hoodie, I’m not exactly sure why. I’ll purposely do bizzare things to make others feel uncomfortable, for example once I sawed a banana in half, scooped out the contents of the peel with a knife and then poured chocolate milk into it and drank it. Occasionally I’ll wear things to make me stand out, once I went to Boston and I wore a bright green octopus hat, other times it’ll be less noticable, for example I once wore a skeleton costume under my sweatshirt and would reveal this at random intervals. My favorite instrument is the kazoo and I’ll even bring it on school trips to annoy others, sometimes I wonder why I find joy in annoying others. Oh wait I know why because I am different, and I am me.

Posted: 10.12.18

Oct 12

humor 1 comment challenge: Photo-2 Guitar

Alexander wiedrick

Silly Guitar Man

The man strumming his guitar says to you, “You’re a different soul, aren’t you?”

I know i’m not though. “That’s silly” I say.

I walk away from him thinking that that was stupid. What would make me different? I’m no special snowflake. I wake up and eat breakfast like everyone else. I go to school like everyone else my age. I go home and do my homework like most people my age. I don’t believe that i’m special and he shouldn’t either. I have a pet dog like most people. I live in a house like most people. I like to play video games like most other boys my age. That dude was being silly, and I don’t do silly.

Posted: 10.12.18

Oct 05

poem, fiction, humor 1 comment challenge: Greeting

lana.W

What Do I Say?

How is he that attractive?
Is that really his face he just...
wears for days?
I've been caught once or twice in the act of

staring with a heart-eyed
gaze.

So far out of reach, yet I yearn for his attention.
My GOD, he looks good in pink!
(It's just a crush, I guess I should mention
(A standard edition case of puppy love...
(I think)))

Right when I've thought of the right things to say
he comes out of nowhere...
Taking words away.

He's walking my way,
This can only end in mishap.
Wait! What do I say?
"HeY! HoW's iT gOiNg, dO YoU LikE UkuLeLes ToO?! Oh mY gOD cOoLl!!"
Crap...

Posted: 10.05.18

Oct 02

humor 0 comments

marcheso

Wild Bill

In the fall the humans undergo a catastrophic change. The wild Bill becomes very unpredictable. He goes down on all fours and attacks his prey by lunging forward and digging his sharp teeth into the body of a helpless deer. All humans become savage but the wild Bill is unlike any other. Once winter hits he will find a cave and burrow though in spring he will be back to normal, but the process will start over again in the fall so you have to prepare and beware of the wild Bill.

Posted: 10.02.18

Oct 02

humor 0 comments

MTBcello88

WINTER RAP. (by a cat)

ze little white fluffz
fall onto da mee
I eat them in my sheep
they wet and cold and yeet

I Climb the prickly indoor-tree
I knock the apples off-
oops, not apples.
they shatter on the floor.
I run away and hide...

hot chocolate snowball cake
chicken flavoured gravy lake
cheezitz in my snake

cheezburgerz?
nop.
Pinehpplehs?
nop.

not-applez in my chocolate kaik
cheesit flavoured cheezy shake
snowballs in my face

ze little white fluffz
fall onto da mee
I eat them in my sheep
they wet and cold and yeet.

Posted: 10.02.18

Sep 30

humor 2 comments challenge: Portrait

Da Quinstah

A Kid

There’s this kid named Quinncy. I heard he enjoys to hangout with his friends and laugh, have a good time. Someone said he was a little nervous about high school at first, but seems to know now that it’s just the same school he’s been going to for the past two years. You don’t know what he looks like? Well, I saw him in the hall, he looks to be about 5’7” with black hair and brown eyes. And I also saw that he has some friends, he doesn’t look like he should, but he has people that talk to him at lunch and in the halls. He was an honors student all throughout middle school, played soccer and did track as well as cross country for sports. Quinncy seems to like some different types of music. You’re asking if he likes Lil rappers? No, actually I heard that he hates them. He enjoys some Biggy and 2Pac though. And he said if he wasn’t stuck in a time machine frozen in the 90’s, that he likes Blackbear, some G-Eazy, Hoodie, you know?

Posted: 09.30.18

Sep 30

poem, humor, audio 2 comments

LadyMidnight

Maria Antonia Rap

Maria. Antonia. Josepha. Johanna.
Maria. Antonia. Josepha. Johanna

Austria girl
I was born and raised
but that was years ago
in the good old days

Didn’t want no schooling
Thought it was a bore.
But you get a lot of tutors
when your Dad’s the emperor.

Nine years old and oops, daddy died!
I’d say hush up but Mama don’t cry
She just marry off her girls
to some famous rich guy.

So they powdered my hair
fixed my teeth with a wrench.
Said “Now your name’s Marie
And your gonna be French!

Hop in my carriage
Ready for some romance
Meet Mr Louie
And he take me off to France.

Life is full of
parties, dresses and bling.
People say “We’re starving!”
I’m like “talk to the king.”

Funeral bells! The good king’s dead!
Out on the streets, all the people said

Posted: 09.30.18

Sep 25

humor 0 comments

MTBcello88

UHhhhh................ NOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!! #2

Hello.

My name is bill the bump of lump.

Two of my toes are tiny pieces of timberwood architecture.

The other seventeen are small artifacts from the gallery of tate modern artistry.

BOOgert

Meekle is the name of my friends doat.

It’s a mix between a cat and a dog, but it kinda’ sounds like goat, so it’s part goat too.

Don't try to pet him.

Posted: 09.25.18

Sep 24

humor 0 comments

MTBcello88

Ummm... NOOOOOOT!

Hallo!

I have three toes
one is in California
just 'cause that goes
with everything

like

uhh...

BREAD!!!!!!

'allo!

I have four toes.
one is STILL in California
and seven are in my noes
**nose
I have four now
'cause I pulled one
out of my brother's ear,
lost one in a river,
and conjured one
with my magykal
BREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And, uh, that equals four.

Posted: 09.24.18

Sep 21

humor 1 comment challenge: Photo-1 Sunset

mat.the.man

the dock boy

Giotto Lykourgos was alone, walking to the dock. He just lost a loved one.

Someone really close to him.

He doesn't want to think about it.

But that's the only thing that he can think about.

He just lost his brother.

His only friend.

His best friend.

His brother Claudio Lykourgos was only 15.

It was his Birthday!

Giotto was filled with mixed feeling.

His older brother by one year had just died.

They way he died was he got hit by a truck while trying out his new bike he had just gotten.

Why did life have to be so hard.

Giotto was now crying.

It started raining.

He could feel the waves smash into the dock.

His parents were at the house morning the loss.

He couldn't talk to anyone, He just missed his brother so much.

Then Giotto heard a noise in the water he looked up.

Posted: 09.21.18