Mar 29

A Strange Rendition of Julius Caesar

Once upon a time there was a really great guy.
Why was he so great?
Shush, he just was. People cheered when he came home victorious from war.
Oh no, that’s so sad. Who did he kill?
It’s not important to the story. The guy became really important, so some people plotted to kill him.
Wow, that escalated fast. Although I guess he killed someone else so…
Lots of people around the guy were trying to warn him something bad was going to happen. But he didn’t listen.
What kinds of people?
A random guy in a cloak on the street - 
Okay, why would he listen to them? I wouldn’t.
- and his wife. 
Oh come on, he’s so dumb he won’t even listen to his wife?!
So then all the people gathered together and stabbed him.
Woot! Good for them, stabbing a guy who didn’t respect his wife!
Mar 26
lilnoreault's picture

Virus at home blog

Welcome to the Virus Blog! 

I have been in my house and have not left for 12 days. Yep any body else have 10 packs of broccoli in there house. All I want to do is go to the mall or ya know what THE LIBRARY. But nope that's closed too. I have almost finished ALL of greys anatomy. I have also made Angels food cake and drank 8 root beers In one week. I'm going crazy in my house I hope your doing better than me see ya later 
This is going to be a long year
-Lilly
 

Mar 25
humor 0 comments challenge: Humor
Catbatgirl's picture

The Joke (part two)

Hey you gess what I'm back and I got more jokes (by the way sorry if I say the same joke from last time) The first one is... What hired killer nerver goes to jail... An exterminator!... Nows the part when you laugh. Ready for another one... Why did the the prisoner take a shower before she broke out of jail?... She wanted to make a clean getaway!... All right three more... Why was the picture sent to jail?... Because it was framed... two left... What kind of bars won't keep a prisoner in jail?... Chocolate Bars!... All right last one!... A prisoner was in jail. All she had in her cell was a piano. Yet she managed to escape. How did she do it?... She played the piano until she found the wright key!...  
Mar 24
humor 0 comments challenge: Humor
Catbatgirl's picture

The Joke

Hey, Hey you... Yes you who else is reading this paper. Pardon me... but do you want to hear a joke?... You do? Great! Why did the students eat their homwork? Becuase theire teacher told them it was a peice of cake.  Want to hear another one? Ok, ok, Whats black white and red all over?...
An embaresed zebra... ok you 5 more... JK 2 more... How many prisoners can you fit into an empty jail cell... One after that the cell isn't empty anymore!... What is the difrence between a jeweler and a jailer?... A jeweler sells watches while a jailer watches cells! 
 
Mar 14
RedLilac's picture

Pride

People say we’re ‘the gayest generation’

But that’s a lot of tongue and cheek

Just ask the Ancient Greeks

Frida Kahlo had an affair with Sara Josephine Baker

It’s been over fifty years since gays can be confirmed Quaker

Anne Frank

Alexander Hamilton 

Have you heard ‘bout David Adger?

If gays and sinners go Hell

 Then we’ll meet you there 

Sorry, but it’s antipersonnel
 
Mar 13
humor 0 comments challenge: Record
Grace._.'s picture

LEGOS

 If I could break any world record, I would break the one for walking across a bunch of LEGOs. This may seem like a weird one to most people but to me it makes perfect sense. Most say that stepping on a LEGO is the most painful feeling in the world, but I wouldn’t know. I have never stepped down upon the pointy plastic corners of this toy building block. In fact, I never even had LEGOs as a kid. When I tell my friends this, they say that “I had no childhood” and “what did you even do for fun?” Therefore I feel like I should make up for lost time and step across a huge path of them. Since I have never felt this “extreme” pain before, it will probably break me mentally and physically. But that’s okay! I would be honored to break an important record like this one. 
Mar 12
22donam's picture

ABCs in the Library

¨Asshat.” Ben whipped his head around, ¨Who said that?¨ Coughing sounded from the back of the library, but no response. Dodging the bizarre looks by other library-goers from his outburst, Ben went back to reading his textbook. Ever so quietly he skimmed through the pages, looking for the page on intergalactic warfare. ¨Fuckin ninny nincompoop.¨ Grouchy, Ben stomped his foot and jolted out of his seat, ¨I CAN HEAR YOU!¨ Half of the library attendees snapped their heads up and glared at him as if he had kicked a puppy, the other half seemed not to care as much. It occurred to Ben that he was the only one who could hear the mysterious and malevolent sounds. Just then he heard it again, this time it sounded more like garbled giggling coming from the non-fiction section.
Mar 11
humor 0 comments challenge: Fifteen
meface's picture

15 Words Challenge

Oh gosh I really dont know how to describe my self in only fifteen words. 
(Also) 
Music
MTB 
Art
Writting
Cooking 
Coding 
Composition 
uuuh...
Nine 
Ten 
Eleven 
Twelve 
Thirteen
Callum de Voil Robechek 
Mar 10

the best jokes about CAPITAL LETTERS

 1.) I just got a job helping a one arm typist do capital letters.
It’s shift work.
   

2.) This guy calls in to complain that he gets an “Access Denied” message every time he logs in. It turned out he was typing his user name and password in capital letters.
Tech Support: “OK, let’s try once more, but use lower case letters.”
Customer: “Uh, I only have capital letters on my keyboard.”
Feb 12
Grace._.'s picture

The Human Goat

 My cheeks are hot and it feels like my head is going to explode. My sister is eating my clothes… again! No matter how many times my parents scold her, she still does it. I have had to lock my clothes away in a vault and she somehow finds a way to get in and eat my clothes like some sort of two legged goat! I’m gonna go get some of her clothes to get her back... to get revenge for eating my favorite shirt. As I’m storming out of the room, my conscience gets a hold of me. I start taking deep breaths and counting to 10 over and over again. After careful thought I have calmed down and have decided that I don’t want to eat my sisters clothes anymore. At least I’ll have a chance to buy some new clothes. And maybe it’s partially my fault. I should get a bigger and better vault so she can’t get to my clothes in the first place.
Feb 07

A Really Weird Dream

Once I dreamt
that there were
giraffes in my yard
I went outside
to see them
and they went
to the backyard
and I followed them
There were five giraffes
and one gray kitten
and I spoke to them
and they spoke back
They were shapeshifters
and they asked me
to come
and babysit
at 2 o'clock
and then
they were gone
I asked my dad
to drive me 
to the giraffe's house
and he did
The giraffe's 
lived in Canada
so we had to cross
the border
At the border
Gandalf was on duty
he asked lots of questions
but eventually let us pass 
When we got to 
the giraffe's house
it looked like
the church
where I used
to have piano lessons
and in the backyard
was an enormous playground
and a really big pool
and a whole lot of children
more than I had expected
but luckily
the girls from
Feb 03
Wyatt_M's picture

When my grandparents get into an argument

When my grandparents get into an agrument...

"What are we gonna have for dinner?" Wyatt says.
"Well I think imma cook hamburgers on my new grill!" Glynn says.
"I was thinking we were gonna get pizza" Patrice says.
"Well I was hoping that I could use my new grill" Glynn says.
 "You can use your new grill, honey" Patrice says.
"No, no you can get pizza" Glynn says.
"Well you can use your grill" Patrice says.
"Lets just get pizza" Glynn says.
"Well I thought you wanted to cook hamburgers" Patrice says.
Anyway we got pizza and my grandpa was ok with it
 
Jan 31

Blues Baby Yoda

Baby Yoda is really cute 
Baby Yoda is really cute 
So I try to look away for the cute 

Baby Yoda has big eyes 
Baby Yoda has big eyes 
so don't stare at his eyes 

Baby Yoda will eat a frog 
Baby Yoda will eat a frog 
So don't give him a frog 

Baby Yoda is now 50 years old 
Baby Yoda is now 50 years old 
Baby Yoda don't grow old 

For Baby Yoda 
Watch Dear Baby Yoda love song  
 
Jan 30

Poodle sweater.

lights 
Flashing, and blinding me
With their unannounced 
And unwanted appearance 
My sweatpant, and old sweater clad figure 
Being being captured 
And held captive 
inside these little black boxes 
Caged 
For all the world to see
"Crap."
I mutter to myself, closing the front door,
Newspaper in hand
"I hate being famous."
I toss the paper on the kitchen counter 
And pull a bowl out of the cupboard
I've been sitting at the counter a while
My lucky charms becoming soggy 
As I contamplate my life desisions 
When I hear my mother shouting at me
"Mi hija! I need you! It's an emergency!"
I'm startled
And in my hurry I knock over the bowl of cereal
Causing it to spill all over the floor
"Drats!" I say, not looking behind me as I run up the stairs
And find my mother on her phone 
"Nattilie" she says, holding up her plastic jewel covered device

Humility

I myself am of the opinion that self portraits are perfectly acceptable, as long as no one catches me painting them. ;)
 
Jan 28
poulinz's picture

Reverence of Cats


       The kings and queens of the house, they roam their territory demanding food wherever they go. They watch from their towers, high above ruling over the land they are in, and strike fear in all the other rulers, especially the birds and dog rulers. All the other rulers think they can strike fear in the cat kingdom however we have the ¨humans¨ they will never disobey their rightful rulers for their obedience we give them the peasants from the mice kingdom, although they seem to think that the dog kingdom is better for their disobedience we shall vomit on their finest rug. The ¨humans¨ leave our kingdom for about 8 hours i think they are forming an alliance and for this I shall claw their feet wall they sleep and sit on their chest to wake them up so they cannot continue this alliance they shall think twice before disobeying their king.
 
Jan 27

Dear Sibling

Dear Siblings,

I would give my heart for you
and I would block a bullet
but no
you can't have my book
and you can't come in my room

Love,
Your bossy, overprotective, 
loving, caring Sister.
Jan 17
humor 0 comments challenge: Oops
Parker_L's picture

Math Homework


Jacob opens his computer and gets ready for homework when he realizes he doesn’t know when it’s due. He hopes not soon because he has not started it yet. Jacob starts an email to his math teacher asking, 
Jacob. “Hi, I was wondering when my math project was due.”
A few minutes later 
Teacher. “Hello, the project is due tomorrow.”
Jacob. “Tomorrow?”
Teacher. “Yes.”
Jacob. “I have not even stared the pro gyubwcvruvwevcuecvdauvc can I have more time to work on it tttevcdacidgqyfdgyqc dgy cgdvv vqveyvfryivgdywvcbgywovcbfgvyfwvd wvtewyvfguewbdgusqocvdgu 9qbqvbgudqvcgdevw”
Jacob. “Are you sure I thought it was due at the end of the weekkkkkk asudabcbdhud bsbdhuscbuecusdcdycvyvcdgacvgycvvdc hdsiacyhdbvfbaduvwvcd cvdua2du duvcdvcfywivfyiwvcyewcv wvudbycfewvgdubcgduvibfgv veyvgdyeiwvdwvcyivtwe.
Jan 14
humor 0 comments challenge: Humor
Wyatt_M's picture

Humor

Something that makes you laugh.
 
Jan 14
humor 1 comment challenge: Fifteen
Wyatt_M's picture

Fifteen


Fifteen words?! Why we all are worth more than that. Here goes, Funny, and smiley 

I ran out of word Oops