Jun 17

p.s.- december to return to jan

why do jan and feb march right into april,
even if it may, no it will, june right into july
after august pierces its sept with an oct ring, 
but nov one decembers how many baes they each have?
 
Jun 07

How Could You Live Without Jokes

Everyone needs a joke.
Like I mean it.
You couldn't live without that little laugh.
That one thing that keeps you going.
Especially right now.
Like,
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Guess!
Because every play has a cast.
Get it?
Even if you don't, tell another joke.
It will make someones day.
 
Jun 02

Times Mayonnaise Ruined Someone's Life


Since you ate a mayo tuna fish sandwich before a job interview and didn’t have any gum, you went to the vending machine to buy some. After spending twenty-five minutes trying to force the machine to accept your dollar bill, the interviewer found you on your knees, shaking and crying, babbling about string theory. When you tried to apologize for being late, he got a full whiff of your reeking breath and became immediately comatose. You became a convicted felon for attempted murder and was forced to flee the country, which was a shame, because you would’ve loved the office snacks.
Jun 02

15 Things To Do Instead of Actually Working

  1. Stalk your ex-best friend from the second grade on Instagram. Accidentally like a picture from 2004.
  2. Ask your doctor if Lyrimera is right for you.
  3. Tape googly eyes to furniture.
  4. Try to break the Guinness World Record for loudest burp.
  5. Write the first chapter of your autobiography, in case you ever become famous.
  6. Drive around just to look out of the window and pretend you’re in a music video.
  7. Try to solve a crossword puzzle. Give up to take a BuzzFeed quiz to see what Veggie Tales character you are.
  8. Watch veterans come home. Cry.
  9. Memorize the lyrics to the rap part of Justin Bieber’s “Baby.”
  10. Stage an intervention for your peanut-M&M-addicted friend, who’s allergic to peanuts. And chocolate.
  11. Learn Tai Chi. Knock over your mother’s antique Persian vase.
  12. Have a conversation with Siri instead of going to a therapist.
  13. Online shop.
May 18

The glass is half empty, but it's also half full

It's sunny outside! 
listen to the birds chirp!
Yay! It's more than 60 degrees!

Sigh.
The bugs are out,
and there is still a wind-chill.


When we're in lockdown, 
I can try so many new things!

Lockdown life
is so 
BORING.


I talk to my friends,
through a screen,
but who cares? 
I can still see their smiles!

They say it's the same,
but it's really not.
Pixelated faces are different
than real ones.


Life would be boring 
if there weren't unexpected turns,
don't you agree?

Life IS boring,
even with those 
unpredicted twists.


Oh would you look at that?
They've got something really cool! 
I'm so happy for them.

Ugh
look at them
They've got another gadget
I could never afford.


Cheer up a little!
Live life to it's fullest! 
May 16
poem, humor 0 comments challenge: Go

A Message To The Aliens

I just want to go to the Moon,
be able to know what they mean when they say, “It's a small world after all!” 
Watch the stars with no noises or distractions.
I would go up at night -
wait -
Who am I kidding?
It’s practically night up there all the time!
Unless… 
you get too close to the Sun!
But we're talking about the Moon!
I’ll fly up in a red rocket ship from NASA and jump down in a heavy astronaut suit and helmet
And I’ll put a flag
right next to the American one saying,
“Hey, aliens! If you know how to read - well you do if you’re reading this - but, go to YWP and check out my POEMS!” 
 
May 01

Funnyness! (I think thats how you spell that?)

I think we need some humor, soooo I gathered up some funny words! hope you like!
1. Blasphemy
2. Gobsmacked
3. Cattywampus
4. Bumfuzzle
5. Gardyloo
6. Taradiddle
7. Billingsgate
8. Snickersnee
9. Widdershins
10. Collywobbles
11. Gubbins
12. Diphthong 
13. Ill-willie
14. Cantankerous
15. Conjubilant
16. Blunderbuss
17. Bumbershoot
18. Canoodle
19. Doozy
20! Nincompoop

And that's it for now! ;)>
Apr 30

Snapping Turtle


snapping turtle,

my yard

last night

I saluted to him 

he didn't salute back

I was disappointed so I went for a ride down the road on my bike

I rode over to my neighbor’s horse

I saluted to the horse

then I went back and stood by the snapping turtle

and saluted to him again

Then I sat in front of him and looked him in the eye

I said hello

and then my dog barked

and ruined the moment
 
Apr 28

Smart boy Topher

We got my dog, Topher, 2 weeks ago, and are teaching him to sit. So one day I was doing my schoolwork, and Topher came up to me with his treat bag. (I have no idea how he got it.) He dropped it in my lap, and sat down, looking at me expectantly. (such a smart boy!) I don't know how I lived without a dog.
Apr 15

Teacher VS Zoom

Mrs cooper fin’lly switched to zoom
It took her very long,
I’m guessing that it was because
She couldn’t turn it on.
But now she fin’lly sent the link,
We were surprised she dared.
But when we answered to the call
Her voice we couldn’t hear.
 
The audio could not be found,
Her lips were moving too.
We told her to hold down the mic
That simply wouldn’t do.
Fin’lly Mrs cooper spilled
her papers everywhere
The binder hit the keyboard,
And allowed the screen to share
(Poor mrs cooper was confused
She didn’t get this thing called zoom).
 
Our teacher started hitting buttons
As if it were a gong,
We tried to help, then heard her voice
It didn’t take too long.
Then we had to help her out
In ending the screen share,
It took a lot of clicking
But she fin’lly saw us there!
(oh mrs cooper was so pleased,
As if she got a gift of teas) 
 
Apr 11

Stanley Hodge-Podge Phlegm, A Poem By My Brother

Stanley Hodge-Podge Phlegm, one hundred useless inventions for them:
A silent radio, a wordless book,
a sun hat without a brim,
bread that makes you thin,
socks that fit your chin,
a porous bottle, a paper axe, auto-cracking glass.
That's a sample, and nothing more, of the one hundred useless things
that Stanley Hodge-Podge Phlegm brings. 


Good job, brother. You spread confusion even here, on peaceful(ish) YWP.
Apr 09

2020-2021 challenge idea


how would it feel to be an animal? wright about your faorite animal and what there life would be out in the wild or in a cozy home.
Mar 29

A Strange Rendition of Julius Caesar

Once upon a time there was a really great guy.
Why was he so great?
Shush, he just was. People cheered when he came home victorious from war.
Oh no, that’s so sad. Who did he kill?
It’s not important to the story. The guy became really important, so some people plotted to kill him.
Wow, that escalated fast. Although I guess he killed someone else so…
Lots of people around the guy were trying to warn him something bad was going to happen. But he didn’t listen.
What kinds of people?
A random guy in a cloak on the street - 
Okay, why would he listen to them? I wouldn’t.
- and his wife. 
Oh come on, he’s so dumb he won’t even listen to his wife?!
So then all the people gathered together and stabbed him.
Woot! Good for them, stabbing a guy who didn’t respect his wife!
Mar 26
lilnoreault's picture

Virus at home blog

Welcome to the Virus Blog! 

I have been in my house and have not left for 12 days. Yep any body else have 10 packs of broccoli in there house. All I want to do is go to the mall or ya know what THE LIBRARY. But nope that's closed too. I have almost finished ALL of greys anatomy. I have also made Angels food cake and drank 8 root beers In one week. I'm going crazy in my house I hope your doing better than me see ya later 
This is going to be a long year
-Lilly
 

Mar 25
humor 0 comments challenge: Humor

The Joke (part two)

Hey you gess what I'm back and I got more jokes (by the way sorry if I say the same joke from last time) The first one is... What hired killer nerver goes to jail... An exterminator!... Nows the part when you laugh. Ready for another one... Why did the the prisoner take a shower before she broke out of jail?... She wanted to make a clean getaway!... All right three more... Why was the picture sent to jail?... Because it was framed... two left... What kind of bars won't keep a prisoner in jail?... Chocolate Bars!... All right last one!... A prisoner was in jail. All she had in her cell was a piano. Yet she managed to escape. How did she do it?... She played the piano until she found the wright key!...  
Mar 24
humor 0 comments challenge: Humor

The Joke

Hey, Hey you... Yes you who else is reading this paper. Pardon me... but do you want to hear a joke?... You do? Great! Why did the students eat their homwork? Becuase theire teacher told them it was a peice of cake.  Want to hear another one? Ok, ok, Whats black white and red all over?...
An embaresed zebra... ok you 5 more... JK 2 more... How many prisoners can you fit into an empty jail cell... One after that the cell isn't empty anymore!... What is the difrence between a jeweler and a jailer?... A jeweler sells watches while a jailer watches cells! 
 
Mar 14
RedLilac's picture

Pride

People say we’re ‘the gayest generation’

But that’s a lot of tongue and cheek

Just ask the Ancient Greeks

Frida Kahlo had an affair with Sara Josephine Baker

It’s been over fifty years since gays can be confirmed Quaker

Anne Frank

Alexander Hamilton 

Have you heard ‘bout David Adger?

If gays and sinners go Hell

 Then we’ll meet you there 

Sorry, but it’s antipersonnel
 
Mar 13
humor 0 comments challenge: Record
Grace._.'s picture

LEGOS

 If I could break any world record, I would break the one for walking across a bunch of LEGOs. This may seem like a weird one to most people but to me it makes perfect sense. Most say that stepping on a LEGO is the most painful feeling in the world, but I wouldn’t know. I have never stepped down upon the pointy plastic corners of this toy building block. In fact, I never even had LEGOs as a kid. When I tell my friends this, they say that “I had no childhood” and “what did you even do for fun?” Therefore I feel like I should make up for lost time and step across a huge path of them. Since I have never felt this “extreme” pain before, it will probably break me mentally and physically. But that’s okay! I would be honored to break an important record like this one. 
Mar 12
22donam's picture

ABCs in the Library

¨Asshat.” Ben whipped his head around, ¨Who said that?¨ Coughing sounded from the back of the library, but no response. Dodging the bizarre looks by other library-goers from his outburst, Ben went back to reading his textbook. Ever so quietly he skimmed through the pages, looking for the page on intergalactic warfare. ¨Fuckin ninny nincompoop.¨ Grouchy, Ben stomped his foot and jolted out of his seat, ¨I CAN HEAR YOU!¨ Half of the library attendees snapped their heads up and glared at him as if he had kicked a puppy, the other half seemed not to care as much. It occurred to Ben that he was the only one who could hear the mysterious and malevolent sounds. Just then he heard it again, this time it sounded more like garbled giggling coming from the non-fiction section.
Mar 11
humor 0 comments challenge: Fifteen
meface's picture

15 Words Challenge

Oh gosh I really dont know how to describe my self in only fifteen words. 
(Also) 
Music
MTB 
Art
Writting
Cooking 
Coding 
Composition 
uuuh...
Nine 
Ten 
Eleven 
Twelve 
Thirteen
Callum de Voil Robechek