Dec 08
humor 0 comments challenge: Ask
How's picture

“ What is wrong with this statement? “

       “ What is wrong with this statement? “. You might either be as smart as a Language Arts teacher or you are a Language Arts teacher or you might be as puzzled as a fly who keeps running into invisible forces. For the people who are in the puzzled section, the “statement” is not a statement, it is a question asking you what is wrong with the “statement”. For the people who know this, great job.
Dec 07
humor 0 comments challenge: General
MTBcello88's picture

Mountain bike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Biking down the mountain,
There is no fountain,
So i’d hydrate
Before you die, mate.
And if you crash,
In a flash,
you’ll be bleeding
Instead of speeding.
do a jump
Land on a bump
And tear
down bears
(a trail)
At cady hill.
I like to chill
at cady hill
Where you can ride florence;
A great performance.
Biking down the mountain,
There is no fountain,
So i’d hydrate
Before you die, mate!
Dec 07
humor 1 comment challenge: Cows
Manatee12's picture

Chubby Cows

"Hey Bessie, what is up with this hay?"
"I don't know, but it made you fat, how much do you weigh?"
"I'd rather not reveal that, but  asure you I'm all muscle,"
"Ha, good joke fatty, I've seen you try to hustle,"

"How dare you, I'm an althletic cow,
You how ever, are you sure you're not a sow?"
"Ha you think it's funny? For I am the queen bee,
I am quite incharge here, I think we'd all agree,"

"Ha,  I prepose a revote,"
Dec 06
MTBcello88's picture

Writers block 2

My fist hurts from slamming it against my screen.
 
Dec 05
humor 0 comments challenge: General
happy_smiley's picture

A Fairy

"Yes I did see a fairy and it was bright."
"Did it shine like the moon?"
"Well it did shine. I guess."
" What did it wear?"
"Stop saying "It" you, it is a fairy! The fairy was wearing silk and satin."
"One day I'd like to wear silk and satin."
"Oh my stars.
 
Dec 05
humor 0 comments challenge: General
happy_smiley's picture

The Lesson

"Guess what! I just got the drawing magazine!"
"Really? Can you teach me how to draw .... good?"
"Oh darling, you know I'm not a good artist!"
"Yes you are! There is a drawing in the magazine from last month with your name underneath...."
"Someone might have the same name as me. I don't draw that..."
"Yes you draw good! Here is the picture."
"Fine. I did draw that, but it was not in the magazine. I have never sent anything."
Dec 05
humor 0 comments challenge: General
happy_smiley's picture

A Seed

"Years ago a seed was planted."
"Whats a seed?"
"Oh rubbish you. Anyway a seed was planted and it grew...."
"A growing seed, how amazing!"
"Now listen, this seed was magical."
"Oh really! My friends don't beleive in magic but I do."
"Good. Cause I do too. Would you please stop interrupting I am trying to..."
"Can I build a fairy house?"
"Can you please listen!?! I am trying to tell you a story-about-a-magical-seed!"
"But what about the garden?"
Dec 05
humor 1 comment challenge: Dare
magicalmadagascat's picture

The Dare

Dare: my friend had told me to go into the house, but I didn’t want to but I did it. As I walked in the old battered front door my eyes looked around for any danger before taking seven coshis steps and looking around me more, that’s when I saw all the nice looking furicher and food. As I sat down to eat I saw something walk down the stairs toward me. I learn later it was the owner of the house who was wearing bright colorful clothing and a very happy smile that was stuck in my brain.
Dec 05
humor 2 comments challenge: Food
Moiff's picture

Tamales Are Better Than My Neighbours

Tamales are the best
You can eat them while wearing a vest
You can eat them on a plane
You can eat them in the plains
You can eat them under water
You can eat them in the potter
Whatever that means
You can add beans
Or you can add sriracha
What rhymes with sriracha?
I like sauce
It rhymes with boss
Cause’ tamales are boss
And you can add sauce
To them
Blem
Cause it rhymes
Oh no, I’m out of time
Dec 05
Kikiclimbs05's picture

BOI. Stay away from the shop!

 
"Man, what the heck took you so long?"
"I was just getting a fly, ok?"
"Bro-"
"Jake!"
Jake and his husband Danny have been married for 10 years.
"Ok, so I was at the shop. Why do you care?!"
"Let me put it this way: I love you. You cheated on me when we were only dating. The only kind of person who works at the shop are cute guys! get my point?"
"Ok. Fine, you win. You want to go down there together?" 
Dec 04
meface's picture

Tale of a Distressed Squirrel

DANG IT!!!
Where the HECK could a SINGLE SQUIRREL have hidden 247 acorns!? I CAN'T FIND A SINGLE ONE!!! I know I must have hidden one here, OH COME ON!!! Not there EITHER!?This is a DISGRACE!!! You think a squirrel could remember where they hid AT LEAST ONE!!! ONE is ALL i’m asking for! Oh for CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!

 
Dec 04
meface's picture

t

Dec 04
humor 0 comments challenge: General
Moiff's picture

Writers Block


my head hurts from slamming it into the keyboard
Dec 04
Buffy The Shep Slayer's picture

One Line Comedy

                                                      One line comedy 



"JARALD!!!!! WHERE ARE THE FART JARS!!!!????"  My "adoring"  wife yelled to me "IN MY BUTT!!!!!!" 





 
Dec 01

Haikus about haikus

HAIKUS ABOUT HAIKUS

Creating haikus
makes me feel pretty awesome
'cuz I have much skill

I do it all day
I want to do it all night
priorities, though

Sometimes it is fun
sometimes it makes me angry
but I end up good

I'll go forever
mwahahahahaha
nevermind, for real

Mostly they're garbage
But at least I tried, alright?
I guess they'll be trash

Where is this going?
Nov 27
marcheso's picture

Why can’t I talk to the squirrel in my yard.


I wonder why animals can’t talk. I mean we can talk and write to communicate to each other and we’re technically animals. I questioned my mom one time she said something about how our different brains develop. It didn’t make much sense. I was thinking, weren’t we once monkeys that evolved into the Homo Sapiens we are today. If every human swapped brains with random animal would it be like animals would go to school, make friends, eat at restaurants and have jobs.
Nov 22

Lonely Bottle

The empty salad dressing bottle
lept
into the odorous compost bucket,
attempting to fill itself 
with the same kind
as the ingredients of it's lost,
delicate and oily,
contents.

Yet these vegatables 
are in decay;
garish orange clemintine peels,
mushy browning apple cores,
wilting, clingy lettuce.

The bottle will perpetuate 
unsatisfied
amoung the expired produce,
unless a great hand of kindness
Nov 21

In Love (MadCap: Non-Magnetic Poetry)

Purpose under milk. I'm a kid in love for the longer stegosaurus.


#COW17