I have many times labeled myself as a dog person and most definitely not a cat person. I believe that I have more insight than most into this topic because I have had both cats and dogs. Now it may have just been my experience or my cats but I do not like most cats. This is not just an unfair bias because I gave my cats many chances to prove me wrong and they never did. We originally got cats to kill mice in our house but once they stopped doing that they were virtually useless. My oldest cat probably ruined it for the other one because she would always pee in my room and pee in the vent that heats our entire house. Because of this I never liked this cat and most of the time never like the other one either. However my dog Sammy was my best friend and still is to this day. He shows me love and a sort of bond that my cats never could. Emotionally Sammy always felt like a real member of the family while my cats just seemed to be in the background.

Interviewer: Hello Guys, Gals, Nonbinary pals, and all you lovely celestial objects. I’m Gary and today we’re here with Astro, the famous star who changed the universe. Astro, tell us a little bit about yourself!

Astro: Hey guys! I’m Astro! How are you all doing?

*cheering and applause*

Astro: I’m about 30 solar masses. That’s about 30 times the mass of your earth’s sun! Cause of that, when I died I became a black hole, pretty epic huh?

Interviewer: And that’s why this is a virtual interview! We don’t want you killing any of us and we’re pretty sure you don’t want to either! Now, let’s learn the story of your life! 

Astro: Oooh are we talking baby pictures cause I was a CUTE baby! Here’s a picture of me when I was still in a stellar nebula!

*animated stellar nebula picture*

Audience: awwwwwww

When I was young, my grandmother told me to not stick my hand out the window while she was driving. When I asked why, she would say that my arm would fly off and I’d never get it back. I thought about what would happen if my arm fell off, I thought that I would inevitably bleed out and die if I stuck my hand out the window. I used to always yell at my sister when she did it, or I would get scared if someone else passed us with their hand out the window, thinking that their hand might fall off at any moment.

Now, you might be thinking “wWell, that's easy” and then say something like “They were killed by a volcano” or “an asteroid destroyed them.“ If you are thinking this about dinosaurs then you are wrong. These are all “COMPLETELY” true. 

Now I will tell you the “very first reason” that may have been why the dinosaurs went extinct. The very first reason was that the T-Rex game stopped making money. The reason that this would have killed the dinosaurs is that they would have no money to buy the dinosaurs BBQ chicken and salad. 

Joke: Why did Aiden throw his watch out the window? 

Answer: To see time fly.

Joke: What do you call the bad fish?

 Answer: A bull shark.

What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker? 

Answer: I’ve got more pop than you.

  What did the ocean say to the other ocean?

 Answer: They just waved.

 What do you call a grizzly with no socks? 

Answer: Bear foot. 

 

I have a pet septic tank. Hi, my name is Flama Glorpson. I am a normal kid, except that I like math, reading andI have no friends. All Right, maybe I’m not the most normal kid, but I do like tacos and melted ice cream. Also, my favorite movie is the Peppa Pig Christmas special.

Alright, let's skip to the chase. Everyone likes car chases just like in Peppa Pig.

Anyway, there's not gonna be a car chase, but there will be a magical remote dropped from above that controls time. You may be wondering how it happened, and the thing is, a walrus threw it at me. It bounced off my rump and went 100,000 feet in the air. A couple of hours later, while I was massaging my sore rump, it then hit me in the face.

Allright, now we're all caught up. 

Now the remote is going into the yard. With one gulp, my pet septic tank (Dut Tud) swallows it!!!!! All of a sudden, I felt a weird sensation and the world I knew disappeared. 

If you’ve never dinned with a fairy then consider yourself lucky. They take hours to decide what they want and then they get their meals, decide they don’t like it, and then they have to order something else. It’s horrid. Just listen to what happened. 


The first 30 minutes the fairy spent trying to decide what she wanted. 


When she finally chose, it took another 20 minutes to get our food. I had gotten BBQ ribs, and the fairy got a tuna fish salad with clam chowder and a side of chocolate mouse.


Low and behold, the fairy decided she didn’t like her absolute complex meal and ordered something else, just as complex. One rack of BBQ ribs, one huge bowl of minestrone soup, and chicken fingers on the side.


Now we’ve spent and hour and a half and we haven’t even eaten our food yet.




2 hours in and we’ve finished everything. FINALLY. Dinner shouldn’t take 2 hours.

By Max Leibon, 16, Post Mills, VT

A stunted, scraggly tree sat amongst a few crumpled beer cans and soggy fast food wrappers in a small patch of greying and equally scraggly grass by the side of a highway somewhere in New England. A few dewdrops fell from its branches, forming a small, murky puddle at its base. The dreary November morning allowed little sun through its grey, cloud-laden sky, and what did get through, the tree greedily soaked up with the few leaves still hanging on to its thin, gnarled branches. The tree’s roots wormed their way through the dusty and far-from-nutritious soil, lapping up the minerals they found with vigor bordering on obsession.