Sep 09
Yellow Sweater's picture

Books and Katanas

(My friend and I have been playing this game where we make up writing prompts for each other, then write a story about whatever we are sent. My prompt last night was: "Amazon sends you a free gift with your package, but instead of something lame like toilet paper, its a katana." I have been having lots of fun with my these prompts. Not only do they get me writing about new topics, they get me writing in new styles as well.)

I was very excited to get my box of tightly packed books. I had been treating myself to periodic brain care packages since Quarantine began to seep into my bones. I had surrendered to lethargy and I figured I would make the most of it: Homer, Machiavelli, Proust… They were all stacked up so nicely in their box, the epitome of order, of potential. I could feel the heft of all those weighty words as I dragged the square cardboard container into my living room.
Aug 17

Shoot

It are time to shine. We are the future, present, and past.  One choice can change everything.  My choice is to shoot.  Not just for the stars, but the ball.  Boom.
Aug 15
humor 0 comments challenge: Manual
Yellow Sweater's picture

Self-Worship

"I am your new tutor, Alexandria---

"Like the ancient library!"

"Yes. The one that we burned. I am supposed to teach you anthropology. Humanity is a terrible self destructive mess. I couId leave it there, but we have a whole hour to burn. So, for the benefit of your young innocent ears, I will expound. I will start by using the most ubiquitous of human devises: the allegory. And where else could one find a better allegory for the nature of humanity then our own history?"

"How can you already be pontificating?  You just introduced yourself!" 

"Pontification is a trademark of humanity."

"It doesn't have to be." 

"We will see if you still think that once I have finished with my lesson."  

"Please just start"

"Fine. Here it goes: the story of the first interplanetary war...
Aug 09

The Story of Coming Out (and being closeted)

Note: I'm writing this the way I speak, so I apologize for any grammatical errors.

Before I was out, things were simpler, to say the least. The questions were less, "ooo, who do you like, spill!" And more like, "oo, what are you going to have for dinner, DANG IT, you spilled the tea! Go clean that up!" Or rather, that was before any of us were thinking about being out and more about what we were going to find in our lunchboxes (let me tell you, I often found the strangest things—orange peel, dog food, even the odd piece of string that my cat had clearly ruined). 

Aug 07
Yellow Sweater's picture

No Cabbage

The ship was full of rats. They ate all the cabbage. Though, even the rats avoided the bread; the moldy foul bread we were forced to consume day after endless day. Our water supply was running low. But we didn’t think about that much, surrounded as we were by more water then we dared contemplate. Sometimes the sheer volume of the ocean got to us. We would stare at the sea and get a bit queasy. When we were especially melancholy we would add our own precious bile-tinged water to the frothing mass below. I don’t think any of us believed the sea would ever end. We each had our own beliefs about what we would find beyond the blue, but even our faith was washed away by the pure mind-numbing pain of the journey.   
Jul 12
shootingforstars's picture

The First Lady President

The First Lady 
Moderator: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the 20-something Presidential Debate. In this corner: your incumbent candidate, the man of the hour. You know him, you love him. He’s been given you such hits as casual racism and blatant sexism. He’s stunned you on the internet, time and time again, be it with Nazi symbols on Bookface or the time he claimed on Tweeter that a global pandemic was a conspiracy designed cto make him look bad. Please welcome, Ronald “The Man” Manson!! 

 

Ronald flexes and

 

The crowd goes wild!!

 
Jul 02
Climate Writers's picture

A notice

By Penelope deRosset, Edmunds Middle School

Human Citizens of Earth, 

As the Assistant Warden of Galactic Sector IMB452643, I am responsible for your solar system and thus am deeply concerned about the condition in which you are leaving your planet. In your Earth degrees, the average surface temperature of your planet has risen about 0.9℃. (I’m using Celsius here because American measurement systems are weird.) At this rate, the Arctic ice cap will melt by mid-century. That, in case you didn’t realize, means no more polar bears along with a whole host of terrible things. Please don’t wreck your planet. Our sector has had a clean record for millennia. If you ruin that, my boss will blame it on me and Carla from Sector IMB452645 will gloat for ages. 
Jun 17

p.s.- december to return to jan

why do jan and feb march right into april,
even if it may, no it will, june right into july
after august pierces its sept with an oct ring, 
but nov one decembers how many baes they each have?
 
Jun 07

How Could You Live Without Jokes

Everyone needs a joke.
Like I mean it.
You couldn't live without that little laugh.
That one thing that keeps you going.
Especially right now.
Like,
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Guess!
Because every play has a cast.
Get it?
Even if you don't, tell another joke.
It will make someones day.
 
Jun 02

Times Mayonnaise Ruined Someone's Life


Since you ate a mayo tuna fish sandwich before a job interview and didn’t have any gum, you went to the vending machine to buy some. After spending twenty-five minutes trying to force the machine to accept your dollar bill, the interviewer found you on your knees, shaking and crying, babbling about string theory. When you tried to apologize for being late, he got a full whiff of your reeking breath and became immediately comatose. You became a convicted felon for attempted murder and was forced to flee the country, which was a shame, because you would’ve loved the office snacks.
Jun 02

15 Things To Do Instead of Actually Working

  1. Stalk your ex-best friend from the second grade on Instagram. Accidentally like a picture from 2004.
  2. Ask your doctor if Lyrimera is right for you.
  3. Tape googly eyes to furniture.
  4. Try to break the Guinness World Record for loudest burp.
  5. Write the first chapter of your autobiography, in case you ever become famous.
  6. Drive around just to look out of the window and pretend you’re in a music video.
  7. Try to solve a crossword puzzle. Give up to take a BuzzFeed quiz to see what Veggie Tales character you are.
  8. Watch veterans come home. Cry.
  9. Memorize the lyrics to the rap part of Justin Bieber’s “Baby.”
  10. Stage an intervention for your peanut-M&M-addicted friend, who’s allergic to peanuts. And chocolate.
  11. Learn Tai Chi. Knock over your mother’s antique Persian vase.
  12. Have a conversation with Siri instead of going to a therapist.
  13. Online shop.
May 18

The glass is half empty, but it's also half full

It's sunny outside! 
listen to the birds chirp!
Yay! It's more than 60 degrees!

Sigh.
The bugs are out,
and there is still a wind-chill.


When we're in lockdown, 
I can try so many new things!

Lockdown life
is so 
BORING.


I talk to my friends,
through a screen,
but who cares? 
I can still see their smiles!

They say it's the same,
but it's really not.
Pixelated faces are different
than real ones.


Life would be boring 
if there weren't unexpected turns,
don't you agree?

Life IS boring,
even with those 
unpredicted twists.


Oh would you look at that?
They've got something really cool! 
I'm so happy for them.

Ugh
look at them
They've got another gadget
I could never afford.


Cheer up a little!
Live life to it's fullest! 
May 16
poem, humor 0 comments challenge: Go

A Message To The Aliens

I just want to go to the Moon,
be able to know what they mean when they say, “It's a small world after all!” 
Watch the stars with no noises or distractions.
I would go up at night -
wait -
Who am I kidding?
It’s practically night up there all the time!
Unless… 
you get too close to the Sun!
But we're talking about the Moon!
I’ll fly up in a red rocket ship from NASA and jump down in a heavy astronaut suit and helmet
And I’ll put a flag
right next to the American one saying,
“Hey, aliens! If you know how to read - well you do if you’re reading this - but, go to YWP and check out my POEMS!” 
 
May 01

Funnyness! (I think thats how you spell that?)

I think we need some humor, soooo I gathered up some funny words! hope you like!
1. Blasphemy
2. Gobsmacked
3. Cattywampus
4. Bumfuzzle
5. Gardyloo
6. Taradiddle
7. Billingsgate
8. Snickersnee
9. Widdershins
10. Collywobbles
11. Gubbins
12. Diphthong 
13. Ill-willie
14. Cantankerous
15. Conjubilant
16. Blunderbuss
17. Bumbershoot
18. Canoodle
19. Doozy
20! Nincompoop

And that's it for now! ;)>
Apr 30

Snapping Turtle


snapping turtle,

my yard

last night

I saluted to him 

he didn't salute back

I was disappointed so I went for a ride down the road on my bike

I rode over to my neighbor’s horse

I saluted to the horse

then I went back and stood by the snapping turtle

and saluted to him again

Then I sat in front of him and looked him in the eye

I said hello

and then my dog barked

and ruined the moment
 
Apr 28

Smart boy Topher

We got my dog, Topher, 2 weeks ago, and are teaching him to sit. So one day I was doing my schoolwork, and Topher came up to me with his treat bag. (I have no idea how he got it.) He dropped it in my lap, and sat down, looking at me expectantly. (such a smart boy!) I don't know how I lived without a dog.
Apr 15

Teacher VS Zoom

Mrs cooper fin’lly switched to zoom
It took her very long,
I’m guessing that it was because
She couldn’t turn it on.
But now she fin’lly sent the link,
We were surprised she dared.
But when we answered to the call
Her voice we couldn’t hear.
 
The audio could not be found,
Her lips were moving too.
We told her to hold down the mic
That simply wouldn’t do.
Fin’lly Mrs cooper spilled
her papers everywhere
The binder hit the keyboard,
And allowed the screen to share
(Poor mrs cooper was confused
She didn’t get this thing called zoom).
 
Our teacher started hitting buttons
As if it were a gong,
We tried to help, then heard her voice
It didn’t take too long.
Then we had to help her out
In ending the screen share,
It took a lot of clicking
But she fin’lly saw us there!
(oh mrs cooper was so pleased,
As if she got a gift of teas) 
 
Apr 11

Stanley Hodge-Podge Phlegm, A Poem By My Brother

Stanley Hodge-Podge Phlegm, one hundred useless inventions for them:
A silent radio, a wordless book,
a sun hat without a brim,
bread that makes you thin,
socks that fit your chin,
a porous bottle, a paper axe, auto-cracking glass.
That's a sample, and nothing more, of the one hundred useless things
that Stanley Hodge-Podge Phlegm brings. 


Good job, brother. You spread confusion even here, on peaceful(ish) YWP.
Apr 09

2020-2021 challenge idea


how would it feel to be an animal? wright about your faorite animal and what there life would be out in the wild or in a cozy home.
Mar 29

A Strange Rendition of Julius Caesar

Once upon a time there was a really great guy.
Why was he so great?
Shush, he just was. People cheered when he came home victorious from war.
Oh no, that’s so sad. Who did he kill?
It’s not important to the story. The guy became really important, so some people plotted to kill him.
Wow, that escalated fast. Although I guess he killed someone else so…
Lots of people around the guy were trying to warn him something bad was going to happen. But he didn’t listen.
What kinds of people?
A random guy in a cloak on the street - 
Okay, why would he listen to them? I wouldn’t.
- and his wife. 
Oh come on, he’s so dumb he won’t even listen to his wife?!
So then all the people gathered together and stabbed him.
Woot! Good for them, stabbing a guy who didn’t respect his wife!