Jun 28
humor 1 comment challenge: Genie

The Cat

The cat was walking along with an itch.  It was so uncomfortable.  Right on its back.  The WORST place ever.  He was just trying to itch it.  He swears.  He rubbed his back against a post.  It was too smooth though and didn't really help.  Then he found the perfect lamp that had a design on it.  It was so perfect.  Almost to perfect,  The cat would have questioned it but he was too busy scratching his itch to question it.  Then out of nowhere a genie popped out POOF!  The cat was so startled it let one go as we could say.  Then it turned to the genie and in catel asked what he was doing here.  The genie responded in catel that the cat had three wishes and all the genie stuff blah blah blah.   The cat asked for the three things that came to him.  His first request was more food.

Jun 28
humor 0 comments challenge: Genie

The Cat

The cat was walking along with an itch.  It was so uncomfortable.  Right on its back.  The WORST place ever.  He was just trying to itch it.  He swears.  He rubbed his back against a post.  It was too smooth though and didn't really help.  Then he found the perfect lamp that had a design on it.  It was so perfect.  Almost to perfect,  The cat would have questioned it but he was too busy scratching his itch to question it.  Then out of nowhere a genie popped out POOF!  The cat was so startled it let one go as we could say.  Then it turned to the genie and in catel asked what he was doing here.  The genie responded in catel that the cat had three wishes and all the genie stuff blah blah blah.   The cat asked for the three things that came to him.  His first request was more food.

Jun 12
humor 0 comments challenge: Cows

Grain Issues

“This grain tastes funny”

“It's rye and oats”

“That explains it”

“Yup”

“Do I look good with my tail-hair extensions?”

“No”

“Oo, You are so gonna get it”

“Sure”

“Ya well you smell like poo”

“So do you we’re cows”

“You smell worse”

“Cool “

“S-so Bye”

“See ‘ya”
Next Day:
“This grain tastes funny…”


 
Jun 05

Thomas the Untitled document

Do you read untitled documents? 
Hi I'm Thomas.
I can feel emotions unlike other documents.

:) Happy
:( Sad
:D Excited
:C Depressed
:} Innocent
;) Guilty 
So please don't delete me other untitled documents have tried.
Im an outcast just like you reader.
__    __
+     +
[____]
Please!
FRIEND!
Dear Thomas
Thanks but no thanks hope you read this in the trash!
Ha Ha Ha
Jun 05

Thomas the Untitled document

Do you read untitled documents? 
Hi I'm Thomas.
I can feel emotions unlike other documents.

:) Happy
:( Sad
:D Excited
:C Depressed
:} Innocent
;) Guilty 
So please don't delete me other untitled documents have tried.
Im an outcast just like you reader.
__    __
+     +
[____]
Please!
FRIEND!
Dear Thomas
Thanks but no thanks hope you read this in the trash!
Ha Ha Ha
Jun 05

Thomas the Untitled document

Do you read untitled documents? 
Hi I'm Thomas.
I can feel emotions unlike other documents.

:) Happy
:( Sad
:D Excited
:C Depressed
:} Innocent
;) Guilty 
So please don't delete me other untitled documents have tried.
Im an outcast just like you reader.
__    __
+     +
[____]
Please!
FRIEND!
Dear Thomas
Thanks but no thanks hope you read this in the trash!
Ha Ha Ha
Jun 05

Thomas the Untitled document

Do you read untitled documents? 
Hi I'm Thomas.
I can feel emotions unlike other documents.

:) Happy
:( Sad
:D Excited
:C Depressed
:} Innocent
;) Guilty 
So please don't delete me other untitled documents have tried.
Im an outcast just like you reader.
__    __
+     +
[____]
Please!
FRIEND!
Dear Thomas
Thanks but no thanks hope you read this in the trash!
Ha Ha Ha
Jun 05

Thomas the Untitled document

Do you read untitled documents? 
Hi I'm Thomas.
I can feel emotions unlike other documents.

:) Happy
:( Sad
:D Excited
:C Depressed
:} Innocent
;) Guilty 
So please don't delete me other untitled documents have tried.
Im an outcast just like you reader.
__    __
+     +
[____]
Please!
FRIEND!
Dear Thomas
Thanks but no thanks hope you read this in the trash!
Ha Ha Ha
Jun 04

Jerold the Untitled document

I am untitled.
Wait who is reading me?
Why are you here?
No body ever reads me?
STOP!!!
This is terrible I am not meant to be read.
:) Happy
No feelings hurt.
This makes me feel.
:( Sad
;) tricked 
>    >
--------
<   <
--------
Document Deleted
X   X
-------
.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................
May 24
Nicole Jasmin's picture

The Write Awful Challenge the Sequel

henlo wurld. todaye, we will lern abut da wundas of da weeken. ya noice. 


am lonleey, am tireeed, ann am board. 
May 23
humor 1 comment challenge: Food
magicalmadagascat's picture

lisona

My favorite foods lizanea,

That's all I have to say.

Because it's good,

And yummy,

And I hope I have it today.

 
May 22

Letter of Confirmation

Dear new user, thank you so much for joining “Australianmates.com”, where you can find all of the experience and people you may ever want. Although there is only a few members on the dating website right now, there is a diverse option of groups you may find here. On this website you double tap if you like another’s profile, and you scroll up if you dislike them. Please fill out your profile completely honestly and fully, to find the best match for you! For all of the groups we have pulled from, we have put together common found themes in each group from different profiles the website has.

Group 1: The Desperate Downer
May 21
humor 3 comments challenge: Realize
magicalmadagascat's picture

death

IN THAT MOMENT I REALIZED I WAS GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 16
Nicole Jasmin's picture

The Write Awful Challenge

Tihs is da write bade challenge.

O g, mi awarm clokk iz supa lood, it wooke meh upp. I hed donstares to brush ma teethee, an den i get dreest. Mi eyepad is hapi 2 play with meh. “Com on nici, playe wit meh.” he sayed. I playe on eyepad and den go donstares to use da toylett. After, i shoot of mi eyepad and grab mi glacces. I pute dem one. Ohh, nike visioon. I see mi puppeez and mi kitteh. I pet da kitteh and kitteh go prow prow. I den remember dat i taak buss dis afteernon an worriee. I go donstares to baseemont and see mama wit da car. I gett into da carr. Vrom vrom, go car, vrom vrom. I head into da skewl an see mi frens. I saye hi ann eat brakfest. Yum yum. I go to frennche and tudy verrb. Tudy hall is nexx, den english, and so fourt. Fun.

 
May 14
Nicole Jasmin's picture

The Girls Who Overstay in the School Bathroom

Those girls!
Don't they know that the bathroom is NOT a hangout place to stay during lunch?
That's what Nicole told herself everytime she went to the bathroom, 
And seeing all those girls there. 
They can be the same,
Or they can be different. 
Of course, Nicole isn't one,
because she would be including herself in the list.
I remember coming during third block once,
And the bathroom was almost full of chatting girls,
I just wanted to go to the men's room, to be honest.

Then, Nicole thought again,
But what if there are chatting boys in there. like there are chatting girls in here.
Girls who stay in bathrooms are like when a family overstays their visit in a hotel,
You'll have to pay in order to stay overtime!
Nicole quietly stomped her foot down and thought,
What if that was the rule for girls and guys who overstay their welcome in the bathroom?
May 09

The misunderstanding at the restaurant.


               The waiter goes up to the man and asks with a strong accent "Bonjour, puis-je prendre votre commande?"
               "What did you say?" responds the man.
               "Bonjour, puis-je prendre votre commande?"
               "Did you just insult my mother!"
               "Non non! J'ai demandé si je pouvais prendre votre commande!"
  "How dare you call me a smelly cheese!"
  "Non, monsieur, je ne t'appellerais jamais comme ça! S'il vous plaît calmez-vous et je vais prendre votre commande!"
Apr 06
marcheso's picture

The falling


It was winter time. My nose was so cold that I could even smell coldness,  I could hear the wind whipping. I looked down the mountain and saw some of the slope but only the first 20 feet or so because the snow was to strong. With my poles I pushed myself forward and started down the slope. This was the last run of the day according to my dad and I was so hungry that I could eat a cow. Also I felt as if my toes were on a vacation. I could feel my hands on the warm smooth hot chocolate. Just as hope was almost lost in the distance I could see the building of Bolton, I made it I remember thinking. Then in that very moment I heard the sound of crunching snow and then I felt like I got stung by a thousand frozen bees. I fell. 
Apr 04
humor 0 comments challenge: Rain

Stuck in the rain

The rain is pouring down,
the clouds intended to drown,
the cars go splashing by,
I as go dashing along.
I wish the sky would clear,
so that I could give a cheer,
and to my home I near,
the sky is raining tears.
People rush to their destinations,
such as the bus station,
I see a cute dalmatian,
the rain is causing frustration.
The worms are on the sidewalk,
I only have one more block,
of chalk stained sidewalk
till I reach my house,
In front of me is a little mouse,
I bet it would like a skittle,
or a tittle of bread.
I give the mouse a nut,
he gives it a putt,
I guess mice don't like nuts

 
Mar 26
alex w's picture

Little boy with tough life/ write badly


ThE Main CharActer dIEs….. OnCe upOn a Time there was A Boy with a big big toy aIrplane and he wished he could he coULD flY IT BUT  it was only a toy so he gave himself a goal and it was to make the plane fly so he could fly it so he went to his mom and dad and they said no you will never accomplish anything in life your a mess up unlike your sister so he cried all the way to his grandma and grandpa's house. And said can you help me with making this toy plane into a working plane and the grandma and grandpa said no your not smart enough for that so the little boy ran to is teacher office and asked her to help him make his toy plane into a real one so the teacher said you have to work and work till you are brilliant and can afford to make your own working plane little boy.
Mar 25
mtambala's picture

STEWIE GOES CRAZY

Stewie was in the living room on his fuzzy purple couch while eating Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, when Stewie's mom came downstairs and  told Stewie to clean up his room. Stewie screamed and ran out the door. Stewie ran as far as he could away from his house with his mom in pursuit. When stewie got tired he stopped at a purple diamond coated moss covered tree to take a break, but he couldn’t stay there for long because his mom was still coming for him yelling “go and clean your room Stewie.” Stewie started to climb up the tree, when he got to the top his mother finally caught up to him and was waiting at the bottom of the tree. “Get down here stewie and go and clean your room”, she kept on yelling. “No”answered Stewie, I’m going to stay up in this purple diamond coated moss covered tree for the rest of my life.