Coco

I do what I’m told

I have friends

I try my best

But it isn’t enough

I ninety feels bad

A failure

But for some people it’s a win

I don’t want to squash their victory

I don’t know how to feel

I am grateful for the rising sun,  
For every day that’s just begun.  
The golden light that warms my face,  
And time that moves at its steady pace.  

“Stop being a nerd”

“You’re the smartest kid in the grade”

“You’re a child prodigy”

“You’re an academic weapon”

Okay.

Fine.

Maybe I am.

But 

My grades

or winning a kahoot

The days I wake up

and fall asleep

and move through the world

tired and clumsy,

it is hard to know the truths

of what I am grateful for.

Those days,

I am grateful not for winter,

I don’t like my name

not this one, the one I stole

from a great grandmother

I never met

the one I stole from

an Irish goddess