Too much

I am 13

I am in 7th grade.

I like school. Most of the time.

I am quite good at school.

I'm in all the advanced classes offered. 3 years ahead in Math, 3 years ahead in my English vocab, and on the hardest History track.

Sometimes this is too much. But I chose it all. I knew, in the back of my mind, that it might be too much. That little thought poked me, and tried to speak up, but I shut it down.

I shut it down because that is what I have been taught.

I've been taught to make things hard for myself.

So that I can A's.

So I can get into advanced classes.

So I can get into a good college.

So I can get a good job.

So I can have a good life.

I try so hard to manage (my time).

But it's harder for me than any other generation before me. 

I have a distraction device in front of me all the time.

The distraction device is the thing that I need (to do my work).

So I am constantly resisting the urge to open the app,

the site,

the tab.

I'm a good friend. 

But people don't pay attention (to me).

I'm not a follower.

And I don't like to have people following me.

These are the two positions offered to me, and I don't fit either. 

So I work really hard to find people like me, and there are some, but not a lot. 

Most of them become followers the instant they find someone to follow.

None of them (are) quite like me.

I also play sports.

And instruments. At a high school level.

And I read. 

And also exercise.

And cook.

And do theater.

And play. 

When I have time.

Which isn't that often.

And take showers. 

And brush my teeth.

Even when I don't have time.

Which is quite often.

In conclusion,

I push myself in school

Manage my time 

And try to make friends

And hope to have just a little time left to do things for myself.

It's too much.

It'S tOo MuCh.

It's too much.

I know it's too much and my family knows it's too much.

So together, we make sure, it's not too much.

Because only those who know you understand. 

The rest of the world makes assumptions.

Most of them incorrect. 

So, here is my message. 

Ask if it is too much. 

Don't encourage people to pile more on themselves. 

Let them make those choices without your influence.

And maybe tomorrow's teenagers will have a good life, not after they get A's, or into advanced classes, or into a good college, or a good job. They will have good, happy, peaceful lives, full of self care, for their whole lives. Especially, not excepting, their teenage lives.