Fainting Goat

there are things i want to say to you. i feel like a fangirl; like rounded block letters on lined paper and i's dotted with hearts. i 

She walks in

Eyes on the floor

Drawing everybody's eyes up

Hair coiled tightly

Wound up

Just like her heart

Her heart that feels like it's being squeezed

As strong as the looks she gets

i am everything i was ever supposed to be

i am perfection embodied into a 

comprehensible human form. i sit poised, 

back perfectly straight as i overlook my domain

the life i curated for myself. everything is

at the bottom of my bag is a book, 

lying there like a security blanket I'm afraid to touch. 

my seat feels cold as ice as I sit down in the room where not one pen or pencil is seen in sight, 

Love is a paradoxical thing. 

I want desperately to be loved. 

I want to wake up to a "good morning, my favorite person" text. 

I want the last thing I see at night to be a little red heart emoji.