lila woodard

this isnt a break up song
i know we'll see each other again
maybe not for years and years 
and maybe not even then 
but i know we will find our way back home
--
you carried me on your shoulders when i was weak

this must be what they teach you
in all the novels i never got around to reading
i know they say to just keep breathing 
but admittedly that's a bit hard when my heart isn't beating with the tempo anymore. 

it all came crashing down

this afternoon

when the wind started blowing 

and i’d written everything i had to say 

down and already sealed it up 

You say I am not special enough

To be two people

You say it's in my brain

And I can't help but

Be glad that at least mine works

Because how can who i am

Quietly and privately

I've known her from before I could breathe,

Since my life truly hung in the balance of the 

fleshy cords that strummed chords to my stomach

I've known her since the small 

i’ve lied on floors before,

unabashed and wailing

contemplating my death days 

before the sun could even rise 

and i’ve writhed in agony