I guess it doesn't really matter, does it?

If you've never missed someone,

you've never felt pain,

you have never felt what it's like to love someone so much that when they don't love you back it physically hurts inside you.

You don't know what it's like to cry so hard for someone you love that you can't breathe,

and you know they are sitting in their room happy ,

 peacefully sleeping,

while you're wide awake trying to breathe because you feel like you just might suffocate and choke on your own tears.

But don't make any noise you must be completely silent because otherwise you would wake everyone else up and you can't do that.

You don't know what it's like to look that person in the eyes and all you want to do is get as close as possible but they just want you to leave them alone.

You don't know what it's like when they look you in the eyes and smile and think they are being nice,

 but in reality inside they are tearing everything in you apart just by giving you that look.

You don't know what it's like to look them in the eyes and all you want to say is I love you,

but you can't,

and what they say is I hate you even when you have done nothing to make them hate you.

You don't know what it's like when they barely even touch you and it feels like it's all over you,

but it's not and it will never be,

even a high five feels like you've never felt any physical touch that could compare to it.

But then you remember they don't feel that.

They don't care.

They don't want to talk to you.

Your smile doesn't light up the room for them like theirs does for you.

Their heart doesn't melt every time you say their name like it does when they say yours,

their stomach doesn't fill with butterflies when you call them by a nickname like when they give you one.

They don't even notice when you are looking at them,

they don't care,

not like when they look at you and you feel their eyes everywhere,

like they are burning your skin,

but you like it.

They don't notice when you do everything you can to be next to them like you do when they accidentally end up next to you.

They don't notice when you walk by and barely touch their arm just to feel that connection,

because they don't notice a connection,

they don't notice the buzz of electricity that passes through. 

They don't care when you invite them to things because they find you a chore,

not like when they just ask you to do the smallest thing with them and it makes you so excited,

to just be wanted for even a second.

But then that second is over and it's onto the next thing,

the next girl,

whatever is more exciting than you.

Which is anything because they don't love you,

not like you love them.

You love his smile,

his voice,

the way he does things,

his personality,

the way his brain works,

the way he thinks the same as you.

But then you remember that he thinks you smile too much and that your voice is annoying,

when you do things he wishes you would stop,

your personality is the opposite of what he finds attractive,

the way your brain works is not enough,

or too much, 

never enough for him.

And in the end none of it matters because he doesn't love you like you love him.