nevermind, then.

and the pale pink is fading from the morning sky

the same way the words from the song i sang about you

under my misty-cold breath

died on my lips. i wonder if i would've waited forever,

blush climbing up my cheeks and boundless hopes

wild, racing, if i hadn't seen the photos.

i feel my youth

like never before: feel the weight of this child within me,

hold her burden. she can't have you.

you

are something else entirely, something that mustn't care

about me: you 

look into another girl's brown eyes and see her future

mapped out like a constellation, ignoring

my messy tangle of what-ifs. you have every right.

now, at least, i won't look for you,

i'll walk down the halls and feel stupid

that i once did, and also sense 

my un-held hands like heavyweights. no more wishing

to have something, someone, to fill them, to cup in my palm

and turn the world golden. no more wishing

for you.

star

NH

15 years old

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