I CARE TOO MUCH

I care too much.

Doesn't sound possible right?

It is,

It definitely is,

and you'd wonder how that would be a problem right?

 

You won't when you're losing sleep every night over a life that is not yours,

or you're crying over a problem that you did not create nor own. 

 

It is so easy to care,

to feel empathy for someone, 

to hold the weight of every life that comes to you with their issues and stack them one by one on your shoulders like bricks,

one after another,

getting heavier,

and heavier.

 

I love easy,

there is always something I will find that I love about someone,

sounds amazing right?

It's not,

I love so much that it hurts,

it hurts watching someone you love so deeply

pour their heart out to you about how they feel they will never love themselves,

it burns when someone you love looks you in the eyes and says "I don't want to live anymore,"

and you can't be mad that they don't love themselves,

you can't blame them for any of it,

can't be mad at them for not caring about a world who from day one was trying to bring them to their knees,

hell you can't even convince them to love the things about themselves that they should,

because too many people decided to take a highlighter to the imperfections they have,

outlined in detail for them the problems they have,

and you know it might even be their own mind that decides to destroy itself with a drawing and a description of everything they should hate. 

 

I CAN'T sit back and watch,

you're hurting?

I'm hurting.

You can't sleep?

I'm not sleeping.

You don't want to live?

Then I'm going to live for the both of us, with you by my side until the day you find that we can feel happy.

You don't love yourself?

I will love the parts of you that you never will.

 

I will bend until I break to show you angles of a life that makes you want to live.

 

C-L-S

VT

17 years old

More by C-L-S

  • CONVENIENCE

    I hate that I am only loved when you feel like it,

    like I'm lovable but only when there is nothing better,

    you miss me but you just miss having me as an option,

    you wish I was there but only when nobody else is free. 

  • I want to LIVE

    I want to live,

    I want to hear a million songs and dance in the rain,

    I want to kiss and make love,

    I want to see the world from every angle,

    meet people that I will love and ones I won't,

  • I'm....

    I'm sorry,

    I didn't do more for us,

    that I didn't treat you like you were enough.

     

    I'm sorry,

    for not calling you more,

    and didn't hold you when you needed it most.

     

    I'm sorry,