Comments

Comment Commented on Posted

There's so much I like about this story! Your similes definitely pop: the Canadian geese, the inchworm, and especially the teenage boy trying to pick up a girl with the grace of a newborn deer -- ha! Choosing ice cream as the end goal your character is trying to reach adds so much humor to the piece. Your ability to set up a kind of casual suspense -- we know something is the cause of the jam, and eventually that something will be revealed -- is superb as well! I think I would have loved a clue to that cause beforehand, maybe some musings about the sea or the environment or animals in general rather than the health care system, perhaps (although I totally agree with you on that!). I really enjoyed reading your work!

Ice Cream 1 year ago

I so applaud you for taking a "taboo" topic like periods and turning it into something beautiful. There is such power and strength in this piece, which was a wonderful surprise (I originally read the line "It destroys us in every way" and thought the poem was going to take a different turn). I also love that you did not shy away from the word "blood" itself, without ever taking this in a graphic direction (although I feel that kind of angle in writing has merit too). You've shed off the ridiculous, unnecessary shame I felt when I was young and found pride instead, and for that, you have my greatest respect and appreciation!

That time of month 1 year ago

This is pure poetry. Every word feels is pregnant with meaning, and yet so figurative; every phrase is up for interpretation, shimmers visually, and is flowing or has an intentional clipped effect in the mind's ear. I read this three times and found new surprises and subtleties on both second reads. 

shade moon dust 1 year ago

Thank you so much for writing this. I really related to this.

Actor 1 year ago

Thank you so much!!! 

Ponderings 1 year ago

What a gift to be really seen and loved and appreciated by another person – you and Papa Simmons clearly share that gift. This is beautiful, Stargirl!

Papa Simmons; 5/3/2024 1 year ago

thank you!

a whisper of gold 1 year ago

Thank you so much, just saw your email!

rise (bright, anew) 1 year ago

This is the Worcester Cathedral, but the stained glass at all of them is so cool :)

stories wrought in light 1 year ago

Good to know, I'll try it!

Tiny Write by OverTheRainbow, February 24 2024 1 year ago