i have trusted
myself.
i have trusted
my body.
i have believed
it will not bite back
that it will not feel the roaring rush
of danger in what is safe.
i have thought
i would swallow it away.
you thought wrong,
said the syringe,
said the white room.
you can't fool me,
said the haze,
said the flush.
you cannot fight
the fist closing around your throat
except it is not a real fist
and it is closing around your whole life
until adrenaline jolts
its grip away.
It's sand, mud and dirt
but some see the blue beyond
and call it a beach.
She almost forgets.
Summer nights still taste like smoke
and fireflies still dance.
The snow was melting
when you talked to me
when they talked to you
when we stood with them
and their thinning perfume
their black backpacks
their straightened hair
their plans of the ride home.
So many times you will see
someone on the street who you will never meet
again, and believe you could fall in love.
You will look back, and they will not be looking
at you.
A few times you will think
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