I don’t care much for this state
but lay me down in the Chesapeake,
during the fall,
and maybe I’ll become an autumn tree.
Arteries rich with sap,
flowing to a point that
hangs off
and bursts into red dots,
turn brown, bad blood
spills onto the grass and is taken by
vampire-like soil.
5pm:
the sun burns me,
illumination
is resuscitation
and I am almost, almost,
human.
Comments
This is such a sweet poem that when looked at through a different lens can mean many ideas. My favorite line in this poem is "Arteries rich with sap" This plays wonderfully into your image of being an autumn tree very well. When I read this line I can very easily picture a heart inside of a tree that has been laced by the sticky sensation of sap. I like your choice of having "hangs off" in a different line and moved to the right, so that it seems like it is hanging off the poem. I enjoy your last lines as well "and I am almost, almost human." This is cool being at the beginning of the poem you talk about becoming a tree, making it seem like you are still partly human but at the end, it is like you are fully a tree that is developing into a human. This poem is very thoughtful and the meaning and the idea behind it with the way you presented the words is incredible and an inspiration.
This is lovely, thank you! I do pay a lot of attention to how I format my poems and the words I use. With the "arteries" I was trying to draw a comparison between the human body and the body of a tree. I placed the "hangs off" at the end of the line like that because I enjoy when the visual matches the words. I'm glad the details paid off and you like it!
I love this so much! "The sun burns me/ illumination" what a transendent and terrifying truth. You are so right ... that is what it is to be "almost, almost" human.
Thank you! When I wrote that I was thinking of autumn trees at golden hour and how they look so alive as the suns shines on them. They are brought to life through an illumination so bright its almost painful.
I feel it!
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