Dead and Alive

I am convinced that me being alive is to also die at the exact same time

I watch the girl in the mirror decaying 

She's replaying every word she's heard 

The world saying 

About her eyes

Her Lips

Her Hips 

Her Body 

There's not a single thing she cares more about than what the world thinks of her 

She wakes up in the morning 

Already drenched in sweat 

Because her nightmare is reality 

Her morality is entirely based on if she is liked

She can't remember if she actually likes the person she has become 

She misses the three, five, eight year old versions of her 

That she buried six feet under her shame 

This life she is living

Its really just a game 

But she is gripping to it with all her strength 

The length of how far she'll go 

She doesnt know 

She just has to win 

Win 

Win 

I don't think she is alive anymore

I think she is just a shell

But everyone looks away 

Says oh well 

I hope she is okay 

I hope she can find a way 

To stay 

I hope she will survive

That little part of her 

That is still alive 

dandelions

NJ

13 years old

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