A promise for 2026

the year,

just days i crossed off on the calender,

time elapsed too fast for my slow pace,

i sprint to catch up, 

yet i am left behind,

crying,

screaming,

is anyone still here with me? 

the year,

a blur in my memory,

changed,

but still not the person i want to be,

still breaking free,

from willful ignorance,

let my innocence shatter,

and step into the glass. 

the year,

half filled with stupid tears,

but those stupid tears form the pond,

where i can see the relfection of who i was,

and who i am,

and though i often look at that girl with disappointment,

and despair,

and dread,

i love her. 

and maybe i dont say that enough. 

and maybe im too hard on myself,

and maybe im not hard enough on myself,

and maybe im lost,

and maybe im confused,

but maybe im trying my best. 

and thats what ive learned this year,

trapped in the shadows of people who seem to have it all together. 

im trying, just like i was last year, and just like i will next year. 

i promise