Emotions

As my parents would put it,

in a funk.

As my friends would put it,

depressed

or

tired.

How I put it,

aware of real life and frustrated and upset.

Easily breakable,

and when I get hurt,

I cry,

but for reasons other than my slight pain.

I cry for my friends

who are leaving our school on June 12th

to go to high school

without the rest of us.

I cry for myself

the secrets I have yet to explain even to myself

my path forward that is hidden behind thick mist.

I cry for politics

where nothing is going right

and I am tired and pissed of having to be on the lookout for ICE when at the farmer's market to make sure that some of the vendors aren't arrested just because they came here legally

and I cry

because of my balance

the world's balance

the friendship balance

has been sincerely disrupted

and there's almost no way to add weight to the lesser side

to even out the pain

the struggle

and so I cry for little things

big things

vast varieties of things

because as I put it,

I am experiencing a sudden wave of reality that has crashed over my head,

a tsunami,

and I can't control what happens next.