Everything

I want to write about everything

the steady rain

the misery

the end of school

the upcoming event

the natural world

the current political universe of doom

but I can't phrase it

I need to say it all

but I can't

nothing is enough

I scream it into the world

but I am not heard

and I am too quiet

and I want to say everything

I want to say it all

I want to tell the world everything

I want to tell the book characters the plot

how their mentor dies in the next book

I want to tell anyone anything

I need to let out all of my words

all of my emotions

but how?

I can't get them out right

they don't phrase well

and I don't know what I want to say, exactly.

I just want to say it all

to say everything

to scream it

but it's hard to hear people right when they scream words because screaming is not a good way of transferring messages

but I want to say everything

I want to experience life

I want to know what everything means

what everything is

I need to know

I need to say

but I don't know how.

I had the same problem when I was little

I hadn't learned how to talk yet

and I could only scream

only yell

and no one knew what I was talking about

but eventually I learned hand signs

like more

and all done

but now

how do I convey my words?

I need to say everything

it's building up inside me

and I just have to wait

wait until I overflow

until I learn the hand signs

until I learn the language

how?