falling

last year, i liked you so much
you filled my mind, my heart,
every doodle and imagining,
a faraway dream i knew i'd never reach
but i would try anyway.
i would stare at you
passing by me,
so effortlessly beautiful,
and i'd stand there,
frozen in wonder
thinking
when will this feeling end?
&
do i want it to end?
i hardly told anyone,
my friends all got over their crushes in a matter of months but
i don't fall as easily,
and when i do, 
it feels like i'll never stop.
i knew you liked someone else,
but i kept descending
down down down
the wind knocked out of me,
unable to think about anyone else.
and then
this year
i saw you
you talked to me
and it was...normal.
i didn't feel that way
about you,
this person i'd written so many poems and love songs about,
this person who made me discover more about myself
than they could ever imagine.
how is this possible?
for things to go from everything to nothing
in a second,
in a summer?
i don't know
but they did.
now i wait
to see if anyone
will make me fall again.