Fragments of Her

It was playtime, then pressure.  All gone in a blink of an eye. The girl’s smile weaved stories, soft as a flowing stream. She screamed in pure delight as her uncle threw her into the sky. She was a radiant beam, in a family filled with darkness. She grew older…

The world got louder, yet she became smaller. After getting her phone at the age of 6, she traded games for guilt. It seemed like all her happy days as a kid were lost. What would become of her? 

She grew up in a tough neighbourhood unaware how heavy the world was. By 8, childhood was gone. Innocence— lost.

She was loved by most. Not all. Kind to most. Not all. Happy most of the time. Yet not every time. She heard her parents arguing every night. To this day they still do.

Yet she still doesn't remember that girl. But she knows that little girl was her. Now as a teenager, she hides the pain behind her smile. She is the pillar of light. Yet they don't know she’s being crushed by the expectations. 

She’s barely holding.

 Her heart shattered from her loved ones lost. 

Her mind is tired from all she has gone through.

She fakes her strength, too tired to fight. That girl standing tall in the mirror feels small inside…

She picks up sand. Feeling the soft sand on her fingers, reminds her of her childhood gone too soon. And her innocence was stolen by the worst in the world . They never told her growing up would feel like a loss. She dreamed of being a princess, who gets rescued by her knight in shining armour. That dream came slowly, but faded faster.

If she could rewind she’d hold on to the soft days. But she only remembers fragments of those days. Maybe it's all because her mind is occupied with the hardest days of her life.

She looks at herself in the mirror. And sees how much she has grown. She looks young and vibrant, but she knows that's all a lie.

Her mind thinks like an adult that has gone through the worst of the world. Some parts of her stay behind. 

But I have a feeling she will find happiness soon. She looks back at her past and sees the child she once was. Now that child in her shadow. She wishes she’d have someone to guide her way with light, just like she would do. But that light ain’t real, it's really dim, only lights up when she convinces herself she can do it.

She’ll never forget that child. She will hold her painful and joyful memories. And she’ll keep on living. Knowing her past shaped her into the wonderful woman she is today…