Who have I been
what kind of a friend am I
who do I really want to be
what do I want
why am I like this
who could I have been
where could I have gone
have known
thought
experienced
felt
learned
from the world around me?
What would I feel like
if I had succumbed to makeup
trending clothes
hateful words?
How have I become this human being
how did I get here?
How did my life lead up to this?
Why am I like this?
What has the world become?
it was bound to happen eventually
the death of a best friend
but now
now is a bad time
on hannukkah
what kind of a miracle is that?
now im miserable
It's December already
I've been alive for over thirteen years
over thirteen years of learning and growing
making mistakes and accomplishing feats
of finding myself and uncovering layers in not only myself
Your new-ish house
your dog sleeping on the rug
my family and your family chatting comfortably
your kitchen with your hot chocolate
the fun spinny stools at the kitchen island
that's one of my happy places
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