I am enough

Last night, I stood on a stage, my face basked in flashing, colorful lights, and I finally felt like enough.

It took years, didn't it?
Years of hard work, of tears, of overthinking, of doubt.
Years of broken friendships, of heartache, of resorting to hiding in my room because the outside world was too much for me to handle.
Icy-cold winters living in fear of ghosts in my closet.
Burning-flame summers that came to an end all too soon.
Thoughts,
thoughts I couldn't escape,
thoughts that brought terror to my mind,
telling me I'd lose everything if I didn't do something, fast.
I still have those thoughts.
Sometimes.
My journey is far from over.
But I'm now lifting my head from the dark, shark-infested waters,
taking a deep breath,
staring up at the blue, clouldess sky,
and finally feeling okay.
Even though I know I'm losing you,
you, the person who was by my side for the twelve craziest months of my life,
I'm realizing that I'm all right without you.
It's been hard; you should know that.
But I'm okay.

So I performed last night.
Just a little skit; nothing much.
But it mattered to me, it did,
because I was surrounded by friends.
Friends.
I always had them, didn't I, even if I didn't realize it at first?
And as I stood on the stage,
laughing and bowing,
I suddenly had a strange feeling.
I felt...invincible.

Now I know what I didn't before,
what took forever for me to realize.
Even though I know there will be more ups and downs,
more tears and heartbreaks,
I am powerful.
I am brave.
I am a wave in the ocean,
I am a star glimmering in a violet sky.
I am enough.