I’m Afraid

I’m afraid.

What if one day I am unable to get motivation,

That I am no longer capable of feeling happy?

I'm afraid

That every thought will come to life and haunt me over and over.

I’m an over-thinker, that’s just what I do.

Every second of every minute, my brain constantly reminds me of what I did wrong.

What could I have done differently?

Why would you say that?

They probably think you’re weird.

And I am weird. I’m weird for not knowing how to start a simple conversation.

Not knowing how to hold eye contact

I'm afraid

To hate myself.

I try really hard to find things that I like.

I guess I like my brown eyes, although they’re ordinary.

I like my clothing style, even though it seems rather boring, doesn’t it?

Why does every single thing I say have to follow with something negative?

I'm afraid.

I pick and I pick at every detail of myself as if I were a flower.

Taking petal after petal off until I am nothing left but a stem.

Until there is not an ounce of confidence left inside of me.

I am afraid.