I've held many creatures
Void of life
But it's never as hard
As when it's your own
No pulse, no
Breathing
Just an empty
Shell that once was
The shock is
The first to rise
Like a wall
Coming crashing in
Then the guilt
Wells up in my mind
"I could have
Done better"
But life still
Carries on
I have things
To get done
You'll always have
A place in my heart
My dear sweet
Guinea pig
RIP Squeaker
I've recently found myself back in my shell
Pretending to be someone I'm not
And I think I know why.
I've pulled back from people
Only interacting with animals and strangers online
I'm opening my phone
To nothing
No messages, no emails, no missed calls,
All I'm getting is radio silence
The sinking feeling in my heart returned
The one where you know something is wrong
Stinging my eyes
The tears come
Pouring down
Relentlessly.
Still breathing
Still warm
Yet dead
To me
And me alone.
Grief floods me
Again
I'm drowning
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