This Is Me

i am of the sea, the stars, 
Fire
Of apple slices and flip flops, of flowers worn in dark curly hair
And the smell of soap....
i am of candles melted almost all the way, of heartbeats that come in waves, 
Of paper cups filled with crushed stained glass and burnt snickerdoodles....
i am of the voices heard at the bottom of a river…
You’ve heard them, haven’t you?
Of lilac snow and ginger candy , of sand kept in a jar
And shreds of sky hung on a clothesline….

This is me

Invisibility cloak for my soul, 
Don’t let anyone see all the way in
While most people just have a bird or butterfly for their spirit
i have a whole zoo, all rumbling in their cages
i have barriers, 
Learned to hide them well
so many walls have been put up, that no one can scale--
But mostly because they can’t always see them

This is me

Broken mind, broken soul
Born with a broken heart
One that still beats, yes
But one that can’t be broken anymore
No one can hurt me, at least
Not in the ways i’ve already been hurt
I have words spilling out of me always, 
Ones that throw themselves off cliffs and 
Whisk themselves into mountains of glimmering meringue
Words that sometimes pull themselves into formation
And march with a visible purpose
But only 
Sometimes
My words are equations and red and recent and past and lost 
And chamomile between fingers, crushed into sweet scented oblivion
And calling it beauty--

This is me

i am of bared-barbed wire, neapolitan ice cream melting together, 
Crushed wild rose, pleasure and pain-
Someone pulled a cloudy night sky down when i was born, 
Wrapped it in sheets around my body
And watched us meld
Shards and shivers of soft grey, like the smell of clean laundry
And bruised navy, born from the arms of giants
i am of once, twice, three times
Unexpected and full of holes and rips
i am quilts stolen from the attic, made into blanket forts
i am a fortress, solitude in an extroverted form
i am of wanting to run
To leave, get me out of here
i am of loud music, but never loud enough, of grassy hills and shifting mountains
i am of desire of freedom, of open road, no boundaries
Of going and going and going and finding no end and finding a place where there is no end but where i can stay and be happy

This is me

i am of uncoordinated colors thrown over the roof
of words that don't know what they are
i am of October and trying to find a way past my walls
Trying to tear down those walls and watching themselves build up bigger than ever
Trying to let people all the way in, for the first time, wanting that
i am of sleep and reality, or perhaps imagination, are 
they are the same thing
i am of words that are confused, of words that are lost, of words that forget themselves
Over and over and remember only what was blue before it was purple
i am all over the place, desperate to get out---
i am of stories brand new and re-told, of panic and scared and love and affection
i am of random and everywhere and 


This Is Me