Mediocre and gray

Mediocre

boring

bland

drawn-out

not over yet

a story with an unfinished ending

an experience so mediocre its bad

a full life dotted with holes

gaps in my well-being

cracks in my soul

shattered pieces of my entity fading into nothing

last year was bad

now it's not good

it's not bad

it's just the in-between

the lukewarm of experiences

the type of answer to a question that neither explains

nor describes

just a statement of my week

it's been mediocre

nothing to really look forward to

lots to look back on with jealousy of your former self

hollowness in the present

each second tearing apart your being

inch by inch

centimeter by centimeter

creating a hole through me

if not physically but mentally

emotionally

turmoil fading into fuzzy gray

not the kind of fuzzy that you welcome

but the scratchy fuzzy of an itchy wool sweater

you can't get rid of it

so you fall down into the itchy grayness

trying but failing to hear anything other than the muffled silence

down

down

down

further and further

until you realize that there's no light left

and you're stuck

hidden

alone

in this mess

whether you created it or not.