My game

I can't take back what I did.

 But I want you to know that you weren't a game to me, that is just my love. 

It's sick and twisted and dark and suffocating 

But it's not meant to hurt you

It wants to hold and care for you

It just doesn't do it right 

At first you were just a toy for entertainment 

But that faded so quickly into something else 

I really did love you

In every way possible 

And that's why we didn't work

I left my world behind for you

And when you didn't I felt like you had left me behind 

It was toxic in every way 

I cared only about you and stopped caring about me or anything else 

I became obsessed with you 

I fell in love

And my love is painful 

Because I only had known pain

You showed me what love is and I see that I wasn't doing that

I don't know if I'll ever be able to properly love someone 

But I know that I love you

And every day I sit and wish I could run into your arms

Put that ring back on your finger

Try again and do it right 

When I see you again, I hope you can forgive me

Bee.Lover

VT

16 years old

More by Bee.Lover

  • Nothing anymore

    For years when I would look at your face, I saw my future, my life, my whole world in your eyes, but today I for once just saw your face. The same lips that I had once longed to kiss, the same eyes that I would get lost in, yet I felt nothing.

  • Counting backwards

    I'll push my dull heart down

    Anytime you need me to

    And you'll never hear me

    Beg you under my breath 

    Not to leave me

     

    You looked at me

    Like I'm a horrible 

    Burden just now

  • On a scale

    I look in the mirror 

    Like any girl my age

    But I'm repulsed in horror 

    At what is on stage

     

    I look at those numbers 

    Wait for them to go down again 

    114, 113, 112