My game

I can't take back what I did.

 But I want you to know that you weren't a game to me, that is just my love. 

It's sick and twisted and dark and suffocating 

But it's not meant to hurt you

It wants to hold and care for you

It just doesn't do it right 

At first you were just a toy for entertainment 

But that faded so quickly into something else 

I really did love you

In every way possible 

And that's why we didn't work

I left my world behind for you

And when you didn't I felt like you had left me behind 

It was toxic in every way 

I cared only about you and stopped caring about me or anything else 

I became obsessed with you 

I fell in love

And my love is painful 

Because I only had known pain

You showed me what love is and I see that I wasn't doing that

I don't know if I'll ever be able to properly love someone 

But I know that I love you

And every day I sit and wish I could run into your arms

Put that ring back on your finger

Try again and do it right 

When I see you again, I hope you can forgive me

More by Bee.Lover

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    By Bee.Lover

    Retract and hide

    I've recently found myself back in my shell

    Pretending to be someone I'm not

    And I think I know why.

     

    I've pulled back from people 

    Only interacting with animals and strangers online 

  • Poetry

    By Bee.Lover

    Radio silence

    I'm opening my phone

    To nothing 

    No messages, no emails, no missed calls,

    All I'm getting is radio silence 

     

    The sinking feeling in my heart returned

    The one where you know something is wrong

  • Poetry

    By Bee.Lover

    It's dark out now.

    Stinging my eyes

    The tears come

    Pouring down

    Relentlessly.

    Still breathing 

    Still warm

    Yet dead 

    To me

    And me alone.

    Grief floods me

    Again 

    I'm drowning