My game

I can't take back what I did.

 But I want you to know that you weren't a game to me, that is just my love. 

It's sick and twisted and dark and suffocating 

But it's not meant to hurt you

It wants to hold and care for you

It just doesn't do it right 

At first you were just a toy for entertainment 

But that faded so quickly into something else 

I really did love you

In every way possible 

And that's why we didn't work

I left my world behind for you

And when you didn't I felt like you had left me behind 

It was toxic in every way 

I cared only about you and stopped caring about me or anything else 

I became obsessed with you 

I fell in love

And my love is painful 

Because I only had known pain

You showed me what love is and I see that I wasn't doing that

I don't know if I'll ever be able to properly love someone 

But I know that I love you

And every day I sit and wish I could run into your arms

Put that ring back on your finger

Try again and do it right 

When I see you again, I hope you can forgive me

Bee.Lover

VT

16 years old

More by Bee.Lover

  • Breaking out

    I step out into a cool summer night 

    The air fills my lungs and soothes my anxiety riddled body

    I walk out and feel the calm breeze on my torn up skin, wrapping around me like it's comforting my wounds

  • This is really goodbye

    I've grieved this relationship a million times, a million ways, yet it was always somehow easier because I knew you would come back. I knew how to play my cards so I could be assured that you were hooked as much as I am.