nevermind, then.

and the pale pink is fading from the morning sky

the same way the words from the song i sang about you

under my misty-cold breath

died on my lips. i wonder if i would've waited forever,

blush climbing up my cheeks and boundless hopes

wild, racing, if i hadn't seen the photos.

i feel my youth

like never before: feel the weight of this child within me,

hold her burden. she can't have you.

you

are something else entirely, something that mustn't care

about me: you 

look into another girl's brown eyes and see her future

mapped out like a constellation, ignoring

my messy tangle of what-ifs. you have every right.

now, at least, i won't look for you,

i'll walk down the halls and feel stupid

that i once did, and also sense 

my un-held hands like heavyweights. no more wishing

to have something, someone, to fill them, to cup in my palm

and turn the world golden. no more wishing

for you.