Paradox

Love is a paradoxical thing.

I want desperately to be loved.

I want to wake up to a "good morning, my favorite person" text.

I want the last thing I see at night to be a little red heart emoji.

I want to spend 15 minutes writing a goodnight message longer than my college essay draft.

I want to have someone to talk to, all day long, no matter what I'm doing or they're doing.

I want someone who feels like they can trust me fully.

I want someone who I can trust fully.

I want someone who I can count on to lift me out of a bad mood and be my biggest cheerleader when I am feeling down.

But I don't.

Love is a responsibility.

Love is a burden.

Love takes effort.

And to be single - is effortless.

I don't have to worry about making plans.

I don't have to be accountable to someone all day every day.

I don't have to worry when I don't get my good morning message.

I don't have to pretend that everything's alright when nothing is.

I don't have to be someone's cheerleader. I can be my own cheerleader.

And I like it that way. But do I?