I don't dare admit it to myself
to my friends
to my family
I'm embarrassed
ashamed
scared of what could be
I have to find ways to sneakily deal with it
without anyone noticing
I hate myself for it
I hate the way my life has gone
for not fixing it while I had the chance.
I don't know how to stop it
how to change it
I try different ways
but it doesn't do much.
The answer may require facing one of my worst fears
that other people would laugh at if they knew.
I keep secrets
even from myself.
It's a band piece
weird, I know
it's from last year
and we only played it in concert once
but it means a lot to me
it reminds me of a lot.
Of Webtoons and authors and demented circuses
5% battery left (about 13 minutes). Connect your device to power.
4% battery left (about 17 minutes). Connect your device to power.
Wait.
What?
How did that go up?
Logically
How
do others see me?
Do they see a girl in gray cargo pants and light blue thermal quarter zip?
Do they see a friend who loves them despite her crankiness?
Do they see a quiet awkward girl who prefers books to people?
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